Have you ever asked and wrestled with the following question: “Why aren’t our young adults or school children acting more Christianly? They went to a Christian school after all!”

This question is typically asked by someone looking at the young people of the church and finding them engaged in unkindness, insensitivity towards others, inappropriate language, music, clothing, drinking, partying, watching the same movies etc. as other kids. The result is the question, “Why aren’t they different? Twelve years of Christian school and this is how they act?!” To be fair to the young people the adults of the church can too often be included in this question as well.

This question or line of thinking makes me apprehensive because the question is not one that can be or is handled well in many cases. The question is also one that has been and is vigorously argued by various people.

What makes it difficult to handle? I will try and lay out my thoughts on this point. It is a topic that is complicated by many factors. It is also a question that quickly drives straight to the purpose of having Christian schools and a divide in how that purpose is seen. Transformation, the putting on of the new nature, is what people want to see happen.

I wish to make clear that it is not my intention to try and dodge my responsibility as a teacher for the spiritual development of the covenant children entrusted to me each day. Rather, my goal is to show that it is not necessarily the schools that are the problem but instead that we may need to clarify how we understand the work of the Holy Spirit in transforming us and our children and do some self-examination to see if we have unwittingly conformed to the thinking of the world when we ask this question or ones similar to it.

Problems with the Question⤒🔗

As a teacher and principal I find this question difficult because, while I know where the questioner is coming from, I believe it is really the wrong question. I also feel some level of frustration at being expected to somehow have changed a person. On the other hand, part of me does wonder why all the teaching and interaction with students often does not seem to make a difference right now. So I am torn between feeling responsible and also knowing that I am not really responsible.

The basic problem with the question is that it assumes that the school’s task is to transform the students. This sentiment has been alive and well in Christian schools for a long time. This sentiment was publicly dealt with in the discussion about the profile of a graduate that was ably and somewhat controversially responded to by Rev. Wielenga a number of years ago. There remains today a difference of opinion about whether transformation is a task of the school.

Caught up in this is the problem that by linking unacceptable behaviour to the school’s efforts one ignores or limits God as well as the responsibilities other parties have in the child’s life. What about God? The home? The church? The question takes the so-called triangle of home, church, and school watched over by God and pretends that only the school exists or at least grossly exaggerates the school’s role when it comes to spiritual formation.

Why does that happen? Is it because the children spend so much time at school? Or is it because we have conformed to the world in some way? The question of time spent in school can be responded to by saying, “Hold on, let’s do the math. Over twelve years of schooling about 14,500 hours are spent in school and about 90,750 out of school.” Looked at that way one could wonder why the school is being blamed. For every hour a child is in school they spend over six hours out of school. Surely school can’t have much impact then!

There is an element of foolishness in that argument, but I do want to use it to point to my essential point which is that I believe we misunderstand or misrepresent the Spirit’s work of regeneration and the time we live in when we ask the question and point to the school, church, or parents. Maybe the quantity of time spent in school is not the reason for the question. Maybe it is instead indicative of us having conformed to the pattern of this world. Our system of public education is seen by many people and policy-makers as the way to change the world. Even a person like Neil Postman, who sees much that is wrong with society and with the education system, ultimately, although with resignation, places the salvation of the world in the hands of the school system (Amusing Ourselves to Death, p. 162). Do we make the same mistake when we ask the question, “Why does twelve years of Christian schooling not seem to make a difference?” Do we also believe that we can change the world via schooling?

Problems with Answering the Question←⤒🔗

When the question is asked or the statement made with the school identified as the problem, it is easy for a teacher or keen school supporter to react defensively and say it is not the school’s or teachers’ fault. In the heat of the moment it might even be countered, unwisely, that it is the parent’s rather than the school’s fault. At this point Christian interaction becomes more difficult because of the approach each side has taken.

A better approach would be for the initial question/statement/ perception to be phrased as, “Why does it seem like our children aren’t living Christianly? What can we do that we are not doing?” When phrased like that it is much easier for the parties involved in the discussion to react temperately because no one is being blamed for something beyond their control. In this approach the communion of saints is sought and likely to be experienced.

Sometimes the question is responded to with, “Yes, they are doing wrong but it could be worse. They’re only human after all.” This is a fallacious response and offers poor and false comfort at best. Other times people say, “Give the kids a break, they are young and will figure it out.” That answer is no more biblical than the first answer, nor is it a comfort, since we know how fragile life is, how easily and unpredictably it can end. On the other hand, many times people do seem to “figure it out.” Many parents who become consistory members, mothers and fathers of distinction, school board members, or teachers, went down similar roads as the children in question are going. All of this points to God’s grace, our weakness, and Satan’s craftiness. In those things lies the answer to the matter.

So What is the Answer?←⤒🔗

To properly answer this question we need, as always, to turn to the teachings of Scripture. We need to see what God teaches us about being transformed, about sanctification, about putting on the new nature. The confessions are helpful here, especially the Canon’s of Dort chapter 5, which I will refer to frequently, since it summarizes some key points of Scripture that are related to our question.

Our Weakness and God’s Grace←⤒🔗

In Articles 1, 2 and 4 of chapter 5 we are taught that although we are regenerate, we are not free from sin. We are free from the dominion and slavery of sin but not from daily sin, even serious daily sins. These sins anger God and grieve the Holy Spirit, but thanks to God’s grace we are called back and “through His Word and Spirit He certainly and effectually renews them to repentance” (Art. 7).

The articles make very clear how sanctification is a process completed only when Christ returns on his great day. Article 14 says, “Just as it has pleased God to begin this work of grace in us by the preaching of the gospel, so he maintains, continues and perfects it...” (emphasis mine).

By now you may be wondering if I am suggesting that the earlier answer of, “Give the kids a break. They will figure it out,” is the one I would give. Absolutely not!

With the Canons of Dort I say that we “must constantly watch and pray that they may not be led into temptation” (Art. 4) and that we must be engaged in the “serious and holy pursuit of a clear conscience and of good works” (Art. 10). There is no room given for the idea of it being okay to live sinfully or heedlessly of God’s word. God’s command is straightforward: be holy, be transformed, and be perfect all the time.

As mentioned earlier, the Scripture and confessions are equally clear that perfection will not be seen at this time. This means that children who have had the blessing of a family that honours God, that attends church faithfully, that sends them to a Christian school, will still not somehow be perfect. They will sin daily just as their parents will, their teachers will, their minister and consistory members will. At times they and we will “in certain particular actions turn aside through their own fault from the guidance of grace and be seduced by and yield to the lusts of the flesh” (Art. 4). As this article makes clear, none of us have any excuse for that.

So, what does this mean? It means we are to be perfect, to be transformed, but also that we are not yet perfect, so that transformation or holy living will be manifested in fits and starts and will be totally reliant on God’s power and not on our own. As Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 4, the “treasure is held in jars of clay to show that the all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” Interestingly and seemingly contradictorily, God also tells us in the very next chapter that we are Christ’s ambassadors; a very different perspective than jars of clay. God’s grace and our weakness highlighted once again.

Conclusion←⤒🔗

In conclusion, when we see problems among the youth or any member of our church, we should not begin by pointing to the Christian school, nor the parents, nor the church, nor God. That is to fall for the crafty tricks of the devil. The place to go is to prayer, to communion and exhortation with those whom you see doing wrong. Humility and a recognition that “there but for the grace of God go I” is crucial to approaching and handling the matter correctly. The plank in our own eyes needs to be worked on and kept in the forefront of our mind as we approach our erring brother or sister. God’s sovereignty and plans must also be remembered.

By understanding the time we live in, bought and freed from slavery to sin but still sinning, and by holding fast to the inestimable treasure of the doctrine of the perseverance of true believers and saints, we can see more clearly what the problem is. Then we can ask the right questions, be still when we are to be still, and act and speak when we are to act and speak. Then we will in self-examination delve into why things are as they are and what can be done about it. We will carefully and lovingly initiate change in our own family practice, our schools, and the church in the areas we have been negligent or complacent in. We will recognize that the responsibility for action lies with ourselves but that transformation is worked by the Spirit.

To that end thoughtful prayer and constant reading and discussion of God’s Word will lead us to the assurance of salvation, to the right understanding of transformation, to the grace and humility of Christ. It is well worth making the confessions part of a personal annual reading schedule. They do not take long to read and as summaries of key biblical teachings, they do give the essential teachings in remarkably few words. Additionally, I recommend reading Mike Goheen’s excellent article on family time that was previously published in Clarion (Volume 49, Issue 6). For further ideas about the importance of consciously planning to build a strong faithful family and ways to do so, Stephen Covey has written an excellent book called The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families. This book is well worth purchasing for the advice it gives in being intentional in raising children with the end goal clearly in sight. Remembering that “our” children are really God’s covenant children should waken us to our awesome responsibility in raising them and then lead us to think and act wisely regardless of the personal cost or sacrifice of time and our own interests.