Communication: what a beautiful gift God has given us! This wonderful gift was given to bring Him glory and to help us live in communion with Him and with one another.

But just how do we glorify God in our communication? What does it take for us to communicate in a good way in everyday life? It takes two people: one to be quick to listen and another to be slow to speak. But are we quick to listen? Are we slow to speak? Just how is our communication in our marriages, in our families, and in the communion of saints? Is it healthy and wholesome? Does it show a good level of Christian maturity? Do we in our communication accept the Word of God that is planted in us?

As long as we sinful people are living in this world we will never experience perfect communication. Yet as believers in Jesus Christ our Lord we must strive by the power of the Spirit to improve our communication with one another. For godly communication shows our thankful love to God.

Using his servant James the Lord God addressed his dispersed people, a people who were riveted with conflict. He addressed them about how to build up communion among one another. As James wrote to his brothers in the faith, “Take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” These words of God are most helpful and encouraging also for us.

Note well what James mentions first: “Be quick to listen.” In this way James emphasizes listening over speaking. Yet this goes against our nature! For what people are always in great demand? Who usually receives a lot of recognition, admiration, and acclaim? Those who speak well, those who express themselves eloquently and fluently.

How often do we say of another that he or she is an excellent listener? Listening is a difficult art to master. For are we really interested in listening to what the other person is saying? Do we sometimes ignore someone who is speaking, either because we think we already know what he is going to say, or because we are already thinking of how to respond? Or do we listen poorly because we are too busy?

To be quick to listen is to love your neighbour as yourself. It means taking an intense interest in the person who is speaking. His problems, concerns, questions, and suggestions are sufficiently important to be heard by you and me.

More than just hearing, listening involves trying to understand what the person is saying. We may need to ask further questions in order to confirm what we have heard. And only when we have understood what was said can we properly respond in love. Only then can we open our mouth to speak!

For James also writes: “Be slow to speak.” This instruction, too, is about loving your neighbour as yourself. It means we should not want to speak too early, to interrupt when someone else is speaking. Being slow to speak does not mean we have taken a vow of silence; rather, God desires that we think before we speak. We should ask ourselves: “Is this the right time to speak? How will my speaking be received? What words should I use? What tone of voice should I have?” May God’s Spirit give us wisdom to speak the truth in love!

Among God’s people, there is no place for careless words. As our Lord Jesus said,

I tell you that man will have to give account on the day of judgement for every careless word he has spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted and by your words you will be condemned.Matthew 12:36-37

Such careless words are often accompanied by anger. Indeed, anger is a barrier to being quick to listen and slow to speak. Rash and reckless words of anger are prone to wound. They promote animosity and conflict. As James concludes: “Man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires of us” (1:20).

With these words of God may we be encouraged to listen and to speak in his way, bringing Him the glory and serving for one another’s well-being. In the power of the Holy Spirit may we communicate in a godly way, making for wholesome and mature communion among the saints.