The place of youth in the church has various aspects. One could discuss the instruction of youth in catechism, the role of the church in establishing Christian schools, the address to youth in house visitations, the significance of confession of faith for youth, the fellowship of youth together, etc. Various churches deal with youth differently. In some cases, youth are "invisible." They are lumped together with either the adults or the children, whatever is most convenient at the time. In other cases, however, youth do receive attention by a special address in the preaching and during house visitation. Catechism aims to speak at the level of the youth and periodically to address some modern issues and problems. Young people's groups are started to accommodate the social interaction of youth and the study of Scripture, doctrine, and practical issues by youth. Sometimes regional camps are organized as an extension of this work. Here youth are "visible" as a group within the church. Often this work is simply coordinated by the consistory and involves interested parents to function as leaders.

In some churches, there is a specific "youth ministry," with a youth pastor or even a youth department. Youth ministry has become a common ministry in many churches today. In some cases it has even sprung powerfully to the forefront of all ministries. Many churches have adopted and effectively implemented this type of ministry to reach out to young people. Sometimes this is done for practical purposes. The church is large and the young people are numerous. A concerted effort is necessary to coordinate everything. In other cases, how­ever, there is a specific philosophy behind isolating the youth. It is believed that young people have counter-cultural impulses. They can easily perceive the church as an institution closely identified with the status quo. To prevent young people from forsaking the church entirely, it is advocated that the church should set up a counter-cultural "haven" in which the young people can still be in the church. The youth pastor functions as the intermediary, often conducting himself in a way that the young people can identify with. In this sce­nario, the young people are not only visible, but isolated.

In this brief article, I would like to point to the danger of isolating the young people in the church. I will also argue that the wholesome connection with the family needs to be fostered and nurtured. More and more there is the tendency that youth minis­try functions as competition for family togetherness and training. Along with educa­tional centers in schools, youth ministry has become a "professional" alternative to functions within the family.

Dr. Marv Penner¹ believes that parents are desperate to connect with their children and that children are desperate to connect with their parents. Often youth minis­try infringes on this relationship. Young people feel safe and comfortable talking with someone who is a respected peer (i.e. youth pastor/elder) rather than their parents. How­ever, one of the things often forgotten is that the youth ministry outreach goes home at the end of the day and the young people often return to their own homes. Here now the parent-child relationship has been diminished even more and relationships are very distant because we share with everyone except for our own family.

Today's parents often feel incompetent in comparison to the professionals, and experts on many issues. Parents, as a result, are re­sponding to their children with their own fears and failures. These fears and failures are demonstrated in several ways. First, they often belittle the complexities of their child's circumstances and the issues in his/her life. Secondly, parents often create relational distance through busyness or silence which is often legitimized. They might throw themselves into their work, watch life on television rather than talk about life with their dependents. This leads parents to the wrong conclusion that even though their children may be going through different stages (i.e. puberty, rebellion) in their lives, they are still the same, because it is not communicated. The third way that parents demonstrate their fear is by over identifying with their children. "If you can't beat them, join them." Instead of developing a healthy parent-adolescent relationship, they join them in the fads and fashions. Therefore, Dr. Penner suggests that youth ministry ought not to replace the family unit.

What any youth ministry ought to do is to:

1. connect youth with the church,
    
2. connect youth with parents, and
    
3. connect youth with the community. Youth ministry should respect the sovereignty of the family and help foster the connection of the youth with their family.

Teaching at schools and other learning envi­ronments (which are important) can only bring so much. Other tools such as television cannot provide anything of much value to young people; consequently, parents need to be encouraged in several areas. Six characteristics of healthy families include expressing appre­ciation and affirmation to one another; doing things together; verbalizing one another's commitment to each other; well-developed communication of thoughts, feelings, and ideas; a deep spiritual commitment; and having experienced and appropriately re­sponded to a crisis.

One may object and point out that many families are precisely not offering what youth need and that it is no wonder that youth look for a "professional alternative" elsewhere. It is true, many families are not functioning in a "wholesome way." Communication has broken down. Busyness and self-interest are the rule of the day. In some situations there is outright instability and dysfunction. This, however, is only an evasive argument. Even in dysfunctional cases, youth ministry should aim to re-establish and nurture family wholeness. Our point of departure should not be in the dysfunctional cases, but rather in the biblical norms.

According to Scripture, the family (not school, church, TV) is the primary bridge over which faith is passed from one generation to the next (Deut. 6:4-9). The family is also the best practice field on which to learn and develop the basic relational skills necessary for a successful adulthood (1 Tim. 5:1, 2). Finally, the family is the primary picture God uses in the Bible to describe His relationship with us and our relationship to one another.

But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.Joshua 24:15

Parents need to be reminded that they are the youth ministers, the ones who are to lead the children and youth in the ways in which they should go, and not leave it up to anyone else. Just as Joshua together with the people at Shechem, so too parents should commit themselves to serve their families in the Lord. This should not be a matter of words only, but very deed, one to another, in Jesus' name and for his sake.