Last time we looked at pornography, the promotion of homosexuality and the sexualising of children, and I think most would agree with Melinda Tankard Reist¹ that society is often like “a giant porn theme park.” With material of the last issue in mind I’d like to carry on focussing more on our role.

So what? (If we’re surrounded by sexual influences)

Since the first part of this article was written, two of our ministers have expressed concern about church members watching pornography. One in particular mentioned school-aged children using mobile phones to watch all sorts of filth including bestiality, i.e. people having sex with animals. That such depravity happens is not new, the Lord already forbade it in Leviticus 18 and 20. There it was punishable by the death of the offending person as well as the animal concerned. It was abhorrent in God’s eyes, and that is still the case, just as all activity under the general heading of pornography. But distrib­uting and watching this smut via mobile phones, that is relatively new.

For the sake of safety on e.g. public transport parents may have handed their son or daughter a mobile, not realising its inherent dangers. Perhaps a phone without internet access is one answer. All the same, openness in communication between parents and children and discussion between parents and others in church may lead not only to greater awareness of the problem but also to mutual support in combatting it. I realise that it’s not easy for a parent to share this sort of thing with others, yet for the sake of all within the communion of saints we need openness and willingness to tackle things together.

That some of these things are also problematic to unbelievers stands to reason. Those preoccupied with eroticism and other mind destroying activities are not likely to function as good students, employees or citizens. Whenever people have tried to improve on God’s creation and His good dictates, focusing on rights rather than responsibilities, problems have resulted. Academics who realise such troubles but refuse to heed God’s answers will continue to come up with their own band-aid solutions advocating sex education at a younger age and pushing the idea of ‘safe sex’.

One such theorist regarding porn is the said Prof SC Hayes, recommending methods to control problematic porn similar to those used to treat Obsessive Compul­sive Disorder. This treatment known as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy teaches those with compulsive porn viewing urges to abandon their struggles for self-control by simply accepting their desires. Judging by Hayes’ report this method is highly successful. But ... it also amounts to the very opposite of what we confess in Lord’s Day 33 about true repentance and conversion. Part of the dying of our old nature is the hatred of sin and our fleeing from it (Q&A 89). In Romans 8:13 we are told:

For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.

Do we as Christians Stand Powerless Against these Influences?⤒🔗

We might learn something from the Committee for Contact with Churches in North America of our Canadian sister churches. They have a sub-committee appointed to inform Synod Carman West 2013 about a publication by the Reformed Churches in the United States (RCU) called “Promoting a biblical sexual morality” (Deputies Report 3.2.2).²

This official RCA statement strongly condemns same-sex marriage, homosexuality and all other forms of sexual sin. It also rejects a number of arguments by “homosexual advocates both outside of the church and within some other federations, including the idea that governments or voters have authority to legalize homo­sexual marriages.” According to CRC Deputies this RCU study has three goals:

To teach the biblical support and blessings of godly sexual morality; to set biblical morality over against the abominations of homosexuality, adultery and man-centred views of sexuality; and to provide Biblical requirements for the use of human sexuality in the midst of and for improvement of culture.

Furthermore the RCU “made a series of declarations on Scripture’s teachings about godly sexual morality opposing society’s perspectives on homosexuality.” They are as follows:

1. God created man and woman good and joined them together in a holy state of matrimony. Sexuality was given to the married couple to enjoy in its fullness as creatures under God’s authority.
    
2. God created only two sexes, male and female. This was taught clearly in Genesis 1 and 2, and repeated by Christ in Matt. 19:4.
    
3. God himself ordained marriage between one man and one woman. Jesus Christ Himself sanctioned marriage (John 2), and repeated the ordinance of marriage in creation as binding and final upon all men and women (Matthew 19:4-6), including the definition of marriage between a man and a woman.
    
4. Authority has not been given to people to change God’s ordinance of marriage. To presume to do so is to usurp the place of God. The political state, therefore, exceeds its bounds when it declares to itself the power to redefine marriage as other than one man and one woman.
    
5. The Church of Jesus Christ, therefore, must respectfully and graciously decline any demands or requests made by anyone to sanction or perform a “marriage” or civil union that is contrary to the ordinance of God.
    
6. The seventh commandment forbids all sexual uncleanness that violates the created ordinance of marriage. Scripture teaches that corrupt actions spring from corrupt hearts, and this by no means excuses sin. Forbidden as contrary to God’s law are homosexuality, lesbianism, bestiality, transgender­ism, bisexuality, pornography and any other sexual sins that take the place of or corrupt the union of man and woman in the holy state of matrimony. Not only are the acts themselves forbidden by God, but even the very thoughts themselves are condemned (Matt. 5:27-30).
    
7. The same God that brings judgment upon sexual sins and calls men to repentance also brings judgment upon those who use private violence against anyone (1 Pet. 3:9-10; Matt. 5:39), and who use railing and contemptuous speech against anyone (Matt. 5:22). The reality of God’s judgment means that we must speak the truth of scripture in love, but not go beyond the scripture itself with abusive speech or violence.
    
8. Since these sexual sins, including all manner of fornication, adultery, homosexuality, transgender­ism, lesbianism, bestiality, pornography, and other violations of the seventh commandment, are condemned by the Word of God, and since the Church of Jesus Christ is bound to the Word of God in all matters, one who is guilty of such sins is liable to the judicatories of the church. Living unrepentantly in these sins, as in other gross sins, will result in refusal of membership in the churches of the RCUS, termi­nation from employment in the Church, including volunteer work, deposition from office, excommuni­cation from the Table of the Lord and other consequences as determined by the judicatories of the church.
    
9. Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners, including those who have committed the sins listed above. There is cleansing and healing from all of the bondage of sin and misery in the blood of Christ, if only we accept such benefit with a believing heart. (See Heidelberg Catechism, Q 60).

Because we live in the world yet are not of the world let’s hope that our Canadian sister churches will work with this report and produce something for everyone’s benefit. Meanwhile with carnal weaknesses also in our midst we do not stand powerless.

What can those in Satan’s Sexual Trap do, and How can we Support them?←⤒🔗

If you’re ensnared by porn and want to free yourself from this addiction, some radical decisions are needed, and you’ll be well advised to not go it alone. Your Lord and Saviour needs to be your first port of call. He was tempted as we are and He will not reject you. Detailed confessions in prayer already go a long way to recog­nizing the extent of your problem and whatever it is that entices you. The Lord will certainly hear your prayer in spite of your sins.

Furthermore we are to pray and to work. The Lord has given us to each other; we are to be our brother and sister’s keepers, to practice a true communion of saints. We are not to look down on anyone because of his or her weakness and neither are we to write them off as having gone too far on the way of sin. In 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 the apostle lists a variety of sins, many of them sexual, but in verse 11 he states:

And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.

What was possible then, i.e. repen­tance and regeneration, is also possible today. In order to find help and guidance you will do well to confide in a trusted brother or sister within the church and to become accountable to him or her for your actions. Perhaps you know of an understanding someone who’s not likely to gossip about your secret, perhaps your office bearers can help in pointing out such a person.

You will need to have regular meetings with your confi­dante and be blatantly open with him or her. Discuss and write down whatever you are to undertake to combat your problem, but don’t expect pearls of wisdom in response to your confessions, simply aim for someone who will listen and hold you accountable to the resolu­tions you’ve made.

In a similar way, according to Reformed Perspective of 5 January 2012, a computer accountability service called “Covenant Eyes”³ is available. This program keeps an account of the search terms one enters, the time spent online and the sites visited, and sends this information via regular emails to an ‘accountability partner’. An additional filtering option is also available. With or without the filter it sounds like a valuable tool providing the accountability partner also has the time to check and discuss the received emails and give guidance when things are slipping.

Besides the above, those so caught in Satan’s web will need to seriously consider how they are to work with the Lord Jesus’ instructions in Matthew 5:29 and 18:9 regarding the plucking out of an eye. Decision making needs to include the ditching of all hidden pornographic material and it may well demand the selling or dumping of whatever electronic device is used as a means to sin. Remember it is better to suffer material inconvenience than to be eternally lost due to action brought on by pornography.

Regardless of knowing whether we have people in our particular congregation with such weaknesses, we can do our best to tackle the possibility by e.g. not speaking about the opposite sex in carnal terms, upholding them as brothers and sisters in the Lord, even if their conduct and appearance are challenging. Let’s not lend Satan a hand. Protecting brothers and sisters this way will be a lot easier if there is no immoral speaking or other conduct and no excessive exposure of bare skin. Attracting others by what’s exposed will soon lead to contact with wrong people for wrong reasons. I’m not certain about the motives behind every low-cut or short dress but I’m quite sure that there’s an element of exhibitionism involved. But if you have no tartish inten­tions why would you dress like one? Hollywood would applaud: “If you have it, flaunt it!” But our Lord asks – even demands – “Be holy, for I am Holy” (1 Peter 1:15, 16).

If the Lord has blessed you with a well-shaped body and attractive appearance, guard these attributes and honour Him by protecting your neighbour. Let your blessings not become instruments in Satan’s hands – think of that tree in Paradise. Similar can be said about devices that connect us to the internet, they are useful for work, study and communication and not at all evil in themselves, but taking such a thing into the privacy of e.g. a bedroom can easily turn it into Satan’s weapon for our ruin. No one should consider him or herself beyond temptation. The devil’s chalked up several thousand years of practice; he knows our nature and our weak­nesses through and through. Let us then be prayerfully aware.