This is an easy-to-understand Bible study in the “The grown-up Christian” series.

3 pages.

Bible Study 2: Sexually Pure

2.1 Key themes🔗

  •  The second mark of a mature Christian is that he is sexually pure.
  • A mature Christian loves and follows God’s plans for marriage and the unmarried life.
    - If you are unmarried, this means that you stay away from sexual temptations and relationships.
    - If you are married, this means that you are married to only one person and that you are faithful to this person.
  • If you have been the victim of sexual sin, remember that God is on your side and you are not guilty.
  • If you have been guilty of sexual sin, then remember that Christ died for your sin and gave his pure life to you.
  • Now that Christ has saved you, you must strive to be sexually pure.
    - Stay far away from temptation.
    - If you are married, love your spouse.
    - Rejoice in the Lord.

2.2 – 1 Timothy 3:2a🔗

2. The overseer then must be above reproach, the husband of one wife.

© NET Bible

2.3 Titus 1:5-7a (ESV)🔗

5. This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you—

6. if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination.

 7. For an overseer, as God's steward, must be above reproach.

© NET Bible

2.4 The second mark of maturity: Sexually pure🔗

In 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:5-9, God tells us what kind of man may become a leader (an overseer) in the church. Together these two passages give us “twenty marks of maturity.”

In 1 Timothy 3:1-7 the marks of maturity begin in this way: “The overseer then must be above reproach, the husband of one wife.”

In Titus 1:5-9 they begin in this way: “If anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife.”

Do you see? In both passages the first and second marks are the same. Clearly, these two marks are very important. They are also closely connected. A man can only be above reproach if he is the husband of one wife (Titus 1:6-7).

The same is true of a woman. A woman can only be above reproach if she is the wife of one husband (1 Timothy 5:9).

What does it mean to be “the husband of one wife” or “the wife of one husband”? It does not have to mean that you are married. It rather means that you respect the holiness of marriage, and that you are sexually pure.

2.5 God’s plans for marriage and the unmarried life🔗

The Bible tells us that God has wonderful plans for marriage:

  • He made marriage to be a lifelong relationship in which two people love, serve, and encourage each other (Genesis 2:21-25).
  • He made marriage to be a “picture” of the love between Christ and his church (Ephesians 5:22-33).
  • He made marriage to be a safe place for raising godly children (Malachi 2:15).

God has wonderful plans not only for marriage, but also for the unmarried life. Jesus was unmarried all his life. Some of us will be unmarried for life too. All of us are unmarried at least for a time. Being unmarried gives us a special chance to devote our lives to God and to trust in him alone (1 Corinthians 7:32-35; 1 Timothy 5:5).

2.6 What it looks like to be sexually pure🔗

A mature Christian is a Christian who loves and follows God’s plans¾including God’s plans for marriage and the unmarried life. Because he loves God’s plans, he keeps himself sexually pure.

What does it look like to be sexually pure?

For an unmarried person, it looks like this: like Joseph, you keep yourself far away from sexual temptations (Genesis 39:12). You stay away from sexual relationships. You understand that God made sex for marriage.

For a married person, it looks like this: you are married to only one person, and you have a sexual relationship with that person only. You are faithful to him or her until death separates you.

2.7 What if I have been a victim?🔗

The world hates God and his plans. Around us the holiness of marriage gets broken in many ways. In 2 Samuel 13 we find the sad story of princess Tamar, who was raped by her half-brother Amnon. After this happened she “put ashes on her head and tore the long robe she was wearing. She put her hands on her head and went on her way, wailing as she went” (2 Samuel 13:19).

Perhaps you know something of Tamar’s pain and sadness. Perhaps you have been the victim of rape, domestic violence, pornography, and/or polygamy. Perhaps your spouse has chosen to divorce or abandon you. Or you grew up in a home where these things happened.

If you have been hurt in such a way, then remember that God is on your side (Deuteronomy 22:25-27; Malachi 2:16). As a believer in Christ, you can rely on God’s help and guidance. You can also look forward to the day when God himself will wipe away all your tears (Revelation 21:4).

Also, remember that a victim is not guilty. If you respect the holiness of marriage, then you are sexually pure–no matter what other people have done against you.

2.8 What if I have been guilty?🔗

What if you have been guilty of sexual sin? What if you have watched pornography, had sex outside of marriage, divorced your spouse, or even raped someone?

Let us be honest: Most of us are guilty of some sexual sins. Even if we do not sin with our actions, we still sin with our eyes and with our thoughts (Matthew 5:28).

Each sexual sin is ugly in its own way. Each sin deserves death (Romans 6:23). But here is the wonder: If we trust in Jesus Christ, then he has changed places with us. He has taken our sins on himself and died the death that we deserve. In return he has given us his own, pure life. God declares us “pure”–not because of our own pure life, but because the pure life of Jesus belongs to us!

If you are guilty of sexual sin, then remember what you have learned in Lesson 1. Ask God to forgive your sins. Trust that his forgiveness is yours in Christ. Live each day, learning from Christ and waiting for his coming.

2.9 Grow!🔗

Now that Christ has saved you, he calls you to grow! You must grow in the pure life that he has given you. You must strive to be pure as Christ is pure (1 John 3:3).

How can you do this? Here are three important ways:

1. Stay far away from temptation.🔗

In Proverbs 5:8 a father warns his son against an adulterous woman. He says, “Keep yourself far from her, and do not go near the door of her house.” If we want to be sexually pure, we need to follow this advice. We need to stay far away from people, places, and things that can tempt us.

2. If you are married, love your spouse.🔗

A good marriage is a very powerful thing. One of the things that a good marriage can do is to protect us against Satan’s temptations (1 Corinthians 7:1-4).

That is why the father of Proverbs also says to his son,

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife you married in your youth—a loving doe, a graceful deer; may her breasts satisfy you at all times, may you be captivated by her love always. Proverbs 5:18-19

3. Rejoice in the Lord.🔗

Philippians 4:4 says, “Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I say, rejoice!” You may have a difficult marriage. You may be unmarried and wish for a spouse. There may be many other problems in your life. But you can still, always, rejoice in the Lord!

Fill your mind with the truths of God’s Word. Thank him for the many good gifts that he gives you every day. In this way you will learn to be content with the life that God has given you. You will not look for joy in the wrong places.

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