God’s perfect plan for families includes the creation of men and women as well as how they are to relate to one another. We were created perfect; sadly, sin altered that plan. But God, in His mercy, gave us marriage, a jewel out of Paradise. The husband’s call to love, nourish, and give himself for his bride, as Christ does for the church, is complemented by the wife’s call to respect and submit to him. Together, they are a team. He is the head of the home, providing and protecting. She is at his side, the hub of the wheel in the home. As culture changes, the details of how this plays out may change, but God’s plan is timeless. We discard it at our own peril, but when we follow it, we will be blessed.

Zeroing in on the role of a godly wife, the first blessing comes when we submit with contentment to this plan, trusting God’s wisdom, standing strong against the feminists’ drumbeat which says this is degrading, choosing rather to be in God’s will, and expecting more blessings.

The godly wife is blessed when she loves God the most of all, and His Word is written on her heart and manifested in her life. She fights the sin that still lives in her by spending time alone with God in prayer and reading. Her walk and her talk are light on a hill and salt on the earth. Walking with Him enables her to walk in harmony with her husband.

The godly wife is blessed when she is faithful to her husband. She wholeheartedly gives him her love, affection, commitment, and attention. Giving in to temptation is not an option, in spite of his diminishing muscles, increasing girth, gray hair, and their humdrum life. She doesn’t look for a new recipe, but spices up the ingredients she has by pouring her energy into her relationship with her husband.

The godly wife is blessed when she treats her husband how he was created to be treated. To the single woman who wishes to be a godly wife: pray and choose wisely. Marry a man you are able to respect, not one who is foolish, selfish, angry, or immature. Marry a godly man who loves you for your whole person. Spurgeon advised us to keep our eyes wide open before marriage, and half closed after. So the married woman should focus on her husband’s positive characteristics and minimize his irritating idiosyncrasies. (Isn’t that how we wish to be thought of, ladies?)

Your respect for your husband begins in your heart and flows out in your tone of voice, facial expressions, affec­tion (or lack of it), and words. He craves your appreciation for his work and acknowledgement of his gifts. Just as he naturally flexes his biceps when you tuck your hand in above his elbow, so he naturally flexes the characteristics you praise. Worry less about feeding his ego; work more at recognizing his strengths, and wait to see what good things happen in your marriage. Enter his world by asking about his day. Keep connected. Discuss the inner thoughts and feelings of your hearts, of natural and spiritual things. Keep romance and intimacy alive. Continue to date. Keep yourself as healthy and attractive as possible. And always be affectionate. Nurture your marriage; it is precious.

The godly wife is also blessed when she submits to her husband. The husband and wife team could be compared to the president and vice-president of a corporation that specializes in servant leadership. They are persons of equal value, as are children and employees, but someone has to be in charge. Husband and wife ought to be best friends. They ought to discuss family matters and make decisions for the good of the family. When they can’t agree, the husband has the final word, in submission only to God and Scripture. Some men are difficult to respect and submit to; their wives have the challenging task of rising above their behavior and taking the high road of obeying God. Such a wife is not a doormat, she may not enable or approve sin, but she exercises tough love. She will need to pray for fortitude. She hopes and prays he will be sanctified by her example (1 Cor. 7:10-17).

The godly wife is blessed when she loves her children, nurtures them, and sets an example of godliness. She sets the tone in the home of cheerfulness and patience. She works hard. Her roles as wife and mother are separate but intertwined. Ephesians 5 and Proverbs 31 imply her husband is her heart’s first priority. It is good to remember this, since the mothering instinct is so strong and our children usually need physical care more than our husbands. She reaches out to her neighbor, first to those in her household of faith, then to others that she encounters.

Blessings will follow the godly wife when she follows God’s plan for marriage, and those around her will be blessed as well.