A pessimistic attitude in a minister is no better than a proud one, for pride is usually the root of pessimism. Ministers become pessimistic when they think they deserve better treatment than they’re getting. At times they may be right, but they may also be failing to exercise self-denial as their Master did, who suffered far worse at the hands of men than they will ever suffer, yet did not retaliate (1 Pet. 2:23).

Resentment and criticism are the maidservants of pessimism. A complaining spirit produces negativism, depression, bitterness, and disillusionment in the min­istry. It also promotes smugness and blindness to one’s own condition. Bitter ministers often don’t see their unforgiving spirit, their habit of backbiting, or their tendency to judge others and magnify their deficiencies (Matt. 7:3-5).

If any minister had reason to be pessimistic, it was the imprisoned Paul. Yet Paul wrote his most joyous epistle, Philippians, from prison. Paul knew times of inner gloom and depression (2 Cor. 1:8-9), but his epistles show little evidence of it. He could say, “For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content” (Phil. 4:11). People have enough troubles and burdens without having to endure the ministrations of a pessimistic, discontented pastor.

Part of the problem of pessimism is that few ministers know how to respond to those who criticize them. Being on the receiving end of criticism for many years often results in pessimism, cynicism, exasperation, insomnia, and even resignations. Here are some helps to cope with criticism without letting it lead to pessimism:

1. Consider it inevitable. In a recent study, 81 percent of American clergymen said they have experienced hostile criticism. Twenty-five percent felt that coping with criticism was the most difficult problem of ministry.¹It is futile to think that you can avoid criticism in the min­istry. If you proclaim the whole counsel of God, as you should, you are bound to become a target of criticism. As Jesus says in Luke 6:26, “Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you.” Expect criticism; don’t be devastated by it.
2. Consider the motive. It is critical, first of all, to listen well. Don’t only get the facts straight, but also ask: Have I heard and understood the criticism rightly and accurately? Have I heard the real problem or just a symp­tom of something deeper? Unresolved anger, depression, changes in life situations, frustration in relationships, jealousy, shattered expectations, and dissatisfaction with church work can lead to criticism. So ask yourself, “Does the person who is criticizing me have a proper motive, or is it indicative of something else? For example, does the critic enjoy finding fault because it somehow makes him feel superior?” Understanding the person’s motive will help you respond and cope better with the criticism. As a general rule, give your critic the benefit of the doubt; assume that his motive is pure unless you have con­vincing evidence otherwise.
3. Consider the source. Who is criticizing you — an office-bearer, a mature believer, a babe in grace, an unbeliever, a highly critical individual, or a fringe member of the church? James Taylor writes, “Those who criticize are usually those on the fringe, who stand back and are deaf to every appeal for service.”²Criticisms from such persons seldom merit change or any other investment of energy on your part.
4. On the other hand, if the critic is a mature believer or an office-bearer who is usually supportive, you should seriously consider the criticism and will often find some truth in it that calls for change. What’s more, you should encourage constructive evaluation from such people. Generally speaking, the more you can sincerely welcome constructive criticism, the more your ministry and relationships with others will benefit from it.
4. Consider the context. The physical setting, timing, and situation out of which criticism comes may help us determine whether the criticism is helpful. As a general rule, don’t respond to criticism for at least twenty-four hours to allow yourself time for prayer, sifting through your feelings, getting past some of the hurt, and consulting others whose wisdom you respect. Prayer-time is critical. Prayer puts criticism in its proper context. It provides clarity of mind and warmth of soul, decreases your anxiety level, and rekindles your passion for what is right and true.
   Remember, you are known more for your reactions than your actions (Prov. 16:32). Forcing solutions to issues too hastily may make a bad situation worse. Some situations will yield only to the healing touch of time. Truth has a way of eventually vindicating itself. Luke 21:19 says, “In your patience possess ye your souls.”
5. Consider yourself. Critics are often God’s gifts to guard us from self-satisfied and self-destructive tendencies. The Holy Spirit uses our critics to keep us from justifying, protecting, and exalting ourselves. Although critics often exaggerate their case and are seldom entirely right, they are often partially right.
   Ask yourself, “Am I responding appropriately to criticism?” Remember, those who have an ear for Christ learn to have an ear for others also. If you find yourself habitually feeling slighted, neglected, and mistreated, view your feelings with suspicion. Let yourself be more vulnerable. Complain less by considering how little criticism you receive, though you are unworthy, compared with Christ, who is perfectly worthy.
   Find some accountability partners to monitor your reactions. Seek the wisdom and courage needed to penetrate the insulation around your ego. Don’t be afraid to say, “I was wrong; will you forgive me?”
6. Consider the content. You can learn valuable truths about yourself from critics. Be grateful for that. Some of our best friends are those who disagree with us lovingly, openly, and intelligently. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Prov. 27:6). Helpful criticism is like good medicine.
   David Pawlison writes, “Critics, like governing authorities, are servants of God to you for good (Rom. 13:4). He who sees into hearts uses critics to help us see things in ourselves: outright failings of faith and practice, distorted emphases, blind spots, areas of neglect, attitudes and actions contradictory to stated commitments, and, yes, strengths and significant contributions.”³
   So ask yourself, What are the critics saying that might help me improve myself and my ministry? Is there a kernel of truth in this particular criticism that, if changes are made, will make me a better minister?
   If critics say something constructive, absorb it, con­fess your fault, take the lead in self-criticism, ask for forgiveness where appropriate, make changes for the better, and move on. If they offer nothing constructive, be kind and polite, and move on.
   Don’t ever get self-defensive or angry, but turn the other cheek, as Jesus advised. If your conscience is clear, a simple, straightforward explanation may be helpful in certain cases, though respectful silence is often more appropriate and effective (Mark 14:61). At all costs, don’t strive to justify yourself; refuse to descend to the level of the negative critic; don’t render evil for evil. Fight God’s battles, not your own, and you will discover that He will fight yours. It is not for you to repay. Romans 12:19 says, “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”
   Don’t take every whisper seriously, get sidetracked into fruitless controversy, or spend your energy trying to appease or persuade implacable critics who foster ani­mosity. But do ask: Why am I being misunderstood? Do my sermons, attitudes, “hobby horses,” and personal traits somehow combine to send a mixed message? Am I only implying what I should make explicit, or am I ignoring certain problems that should be addressed? Often your critics will be at least partially right in one or more of these areas; at the very least, they will teach you patience, make you more like Christ, and keep you from pride. They can save you from yourself and lead you to greater dependency on God.
   Whatever results the criticism yields, once you’ve dealt with it and implemented the necessary changes, do not let it fester inside of you. Develop the attitude of Eleanor Roosevelt, who said, “Criticism makes very little dent upon me, unless I think there is some real justification and something should be done.” Either way, deal with the criticism quickly and efficiently, and put it behind you. Remember, pessimism develops when we harbor the memory and hurt of criticism, allowing it to fester inside.
7. Consider Scripture. Some ministers are so delicate that they cannot endure criticism without crumbling. They need to develop better emotional muscle. Other ministers are so battle-hardened by the ministry that their hearts are, as someone said, like “the hide of a rhi­noceros.” They need to develop the tender heart of a child. Actually, we need both; we need to cultivate the heart of a child for biblical criticism and the hide of a rhinoceros for satanic criticism. That combination is possible, not in our strength, but only through God’s grace molding our hearts by His Word.
   We need to memorize and meditate upon texts such as Ephesians 6:10, “Be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might,” as well as Romans 12:10, “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love,” and Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Let us not for­get that God makes no mistakes. Look more to Him as the ultimate cause rather than to secondary causes. Believe Jesus when He says in John 13:7, “What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter.” We ought to read and plead upon such texts every day, and let them permeate our minds and souls, so that we are persuaded that the purposes of our Lord will always prevail, even in the heaviest of persecutions. Satan is not Christ’s master; rather, Christ is master over Satan, and will use even satanic criticism for His own wise purposes. Accept, therefore, all Christ’s providential dealings with you as from Himself, and let those dealings conform you to His image. Only as Scripture conforms us to the image of Christ will we find the right balance of strong tenderness and tender strength in the face of criticism.
8. Consider Christ. Above all, look to Jesus in the face of mounting criticism. Hebrews 12:3 says, “Consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself.” Peter is more detailed: “Christ suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: who did not sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously” (1 Pet. 2:21-23). If Christ, who was perfect and altogether innocent, was spat upon, mocked, rejected, and crucified, what can we imperfect pastors expect? If one of Jesus’ handpicked apostles betrayed him for a paltry sum, and another swore that he did not know Him out of fear for a servant maid, why should we expect to carry on our ministries without ever being betrayed or deserted?
   What’s more, if our critics happen to be in error and we are suffering unjustly, shouldn’t we thank God that they don’t know how bad we truly are? No matter how much we are criticized, we are never criticized as much as our sin merits, even if we are innocent of the accusation levelled against us.
   If we have Christ, who, being innocent, suffered infinitely more for our sake than we shall ever suffer for His sake, we have more than enough to cope with any trial (1 Cor. 10:13; 2 Cor. 4:7-12). Drink deeply of the love of Christ, and you will conquer pessimism and be able to love your critic.
   Then, too, consider the faithfulness of Christ. Has He not been faithful to you in the past and brought you though every period of criticism? Is He not greater than any present obstacle? Rather than focusing on your critic who seems to wield so much power, focus on Christ’s greater power and undying faithfulness as your Intercessor and Advocate at the Father’s right hand (Heb. 7:25). Trust Him once more. He will not disappoint you.
9. Consider biblical saints. Allow me to illustrate this point from one Old Testament and one New Testament saint. Consider Nehemiah. Many of Sanballat’s criticisms were valid. Nehemiah’s workers were not skilled; many were not committed. Some sections of the wall were not strong; some sections could not be rebuilt (Neh. 4:1-3). How did Nehemiah respond? He committed his cause to God in prayer. He remembered that the source of his vision was God and not himself. Then, by setting up a guard, he revised his plan according to circumstances without abandoning his vision (Neh. 4:4-9). This three-step response is often just what we need to do: pray, remember, revise — but don’t abandon the vision! A failed plan does not equal a failed vision. Usually, it means that you must swallow your pride, then revamp or even redraft the plan so that the vision can be implemented better.⁴
   Consider, too, the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians. There he defends himself from the charges of the Corinthians who were challenging his leadership and criticizing him for not being a super-apostle, being physically weak, and having contemptible speech. How does Paul respond to these criticisms in chapter 10? He takes refuge in Christ. “We are Christ’s,” he says in verse 7. He shores up his identity in Christ’s person and His work, according to the Scriptures and his own expe­rience. Then, he strives to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. Finally, he submits his every weakness into God’s hands, accepts those weaknesses, and trusts that God will use him even as a broken clay pot to let the gospel light shine through him. Let us go and do likewise.⁵
10. Consider love. Love the one who criticizes you in these ways: For Christ’s sake, become better acquainted with those who criticize you; you cannot love those you don’t know. Seek to understand them. Assure them that you want to learn from them and that you want iron to sharpen iron. Thank them for coming directly to you with their criticism.
    Be willing to forgive any injury done to you. Failure to forgive will keep the pain alive. It will sour your preaching, cripple your ministry, and hinder your prayer life. As Spurgeon says, “Unless you have forgiven others, you read your own death warrant when you repeat the Lord’s Prayer. Forgive and forget. When you bury a dead dog, don’t leave its tail sticking up above the ground.”
    Pray with your critic. If he visits you, always begin with prayer, and ask him to close in prayer, unless he is still bitter at the end of the visit. (In the case of a woman or child, you should probably offer the closing prayer.) Be very careful to pray to God and not against your critic in your prayer. Go the extra mile to ask the Lord to forgive you and to help you change in any area that needs forgiveness and change. Be as specific as possible. Pray with integrity and humility.
    And then pray for your critic in private. It’s difficult to stay bitter against a person for whom you pray. The Lord delivered Job from his hard feelings toward his judgmental friends when he prayed for them. Praying for those who defame you produces peace of mind and freedom from most of the pain of criticism.
    Feel pity for your negative critic. How unhappy such a person is! What damage habitually critical adults do to their children! How seldom do the children of critics become stalwart sons and daughters of the church! How tragic to be a parent who causes “these lit­tle ones to stumble”! Critical parents will have so much to answer for on the Judgment Day. Thank God that you are on the receiving end, not the criticizing end. That, too, is only by grace, for our natural hearts are no better or different.
    Finally, put away anything that inhibits love. As Peter writes, “Lay aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings” (1 Pet. 2:1). Show kindness and attention.
    There’s another side-benefit to this for yourself as well. You will discover that when you lovingly serve your critic rather than resentfully retaliate against him, your own wounds will heal more rapidly. If your critic rebuffs your attempt to serve him, reach out to serve others — comfort the needy, lift up the fallen, support the weak. That will be excellent therapy for you.
11. Consider the long haul. No president in American history was so respected and yet so reviled as Abraham Lincoln. Thousands opposed his views on war and slavery as well as his attempts to keep the nation united. One day a friend pulled Lincoln aside and told him that the criticism had reached such a crescendo that it was as if Lincoln were surrounded by scores of barking dogs. Lincoln responded, “You know that during the time of the full moon, dogs bark and bark at the moon as long as it is clearly visible in the sky.” Puzzled by Lincoln’s response, the friend asked, “What are you driving at? What’s the rest of the story?” Lincoln answered, “There is nothing more to tell. The moon keeps right on shining.”
    You see, Lincoln believed he was right and that his policies would in the long run win over critics and unify the country. As pastors, we can waffle too eas­ily under pressure though we know we are in the right. To obtain temporary peace with a few disgruntled members, we are prone to abandon long-term biblical vision that shines on our churches and ministries like a full moon. Don’t do that, brothers. Don’t be intimi­dated by criticism. Don’t allow a few critics to force you into their molds, so that you live timid and hesi­tant lives, doing nothing, saying nothing, and worst of all, being nothing.
    Remember, the fear of criticism is usually a greater threat than criticism itself. Even as you feel the fear of man, let the fear of God propel you forward and upward. Retain long-term vision by fearing God more than man. In the long haul, as Theodore Roosevelt said, “It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again.”
12. Consider eternity. On the other side of Jordan, our faithful Savior who will never let us down will be waiting for us. He loves us even though He knows everything about us, and He will take us to be with Him where He is forever. He will wipe away every tear from our eye and will prove to be the Friend who sticks closer than a brother. All wrongs will be made right. All injustices will be judged. All criticism will be past. All evil will be walled out of heaven and all good walled in.
    Because of Jesus Christ, we will enjoy perfect fel­lowship and friendship with the Triune God, forever knowing, loving, and communing with the Father, the Son, and the Spirit. As a woman seeing her newborn forgets the pain of delivery, you will forget all the trials of your ministry when you embrace Immanuel.
    In heaven, there will be perfect unity. We will com­mune with the unfallen angels and the saints of all ages in absolute perfection. There will be no denominations, no divisions, no disagreements, no misunderstandings, no theological arguments, no ignorance. There will not be a hair’s breadth of difference among the saints. We shall all be one even as Christ is in the Father and the Father in Him. Our believing critics will embrace us, and we them. There will be a complete, perfect, visible, intimate oneness.|
    Three great truths shall become perfect reality for us: first, we will understand that all the criticism we received here below was used in the hands of our Potter to prepare us for Immanuel’s land. Second, we will see fully that all the criticisms we were called to bear on earth were but a light affliction compared to the weight of glory that awaited us. Third, in heaven we will be “more than repaid” for every affliction we endured on earth for the sake of our best and perfect Friend, Jesus Christ.
    Oh, happy day when this mortality shall put on immortality and this corruption, incorruption, and we shall ever be with the Lord! Let all the criticism our Sovereign God calls us to endure in this life in His infinite wisdom make us more homesick for the criticism-free land of Beulah where the Lamb is all the glory. There,

The bride eyes not her garment
But her dear Bridegroom’s face.
I will not gaze at glory,
But at my King of grace.
Not at the crown He giveth,
But at His pierced hand.
The Lamb is all the glory
In Immanuel’s land.