A friend loves at all times. Marriage is a covenant. As with every covenant, it contains two parts: a promise and an ob­ligation. Marriage is rooted in covenant-keeping. It is founded on undying loyalty. It is based on faithfulness. It is firmly es­tablished on friendship. Husbands and wives must consider marriage to be a covenant. Young people who are going steady, who are dating, must understand and know that marriage is a covenant.

When we marry, we promise to be friends for life — never forsaking, for richer or poorer, in good days and bad, for better or worse, until death do us part. In marriage, we promise covenant loyalty. We promise constancy to death. In marriage, we make that ultimate covenant between two people. Lives are bound up with each other. People share lives with each other. A husband and wife must be friends who love at all times. The Apostle Paul writes in Eph­esians 5 that husbands must love their wives even as Christ loved the church.

Betrayal in marriage is then even more terrible than the betrayal of sim­ple friendship. Betrayal of friendship is awful. Betrayal of marriage covenant, appalling. The Lord God compares his covenant relationship with his people to a marriage covenant. Think of Jere­miah 3:6 where the Lord accuses Israel of marital unfaithfulness. In the same chapter, in verse 14, He calls for return to faithfulness. Why? "Because I am your husband," the Lord says. In this chapter, the Lord tells his people that He divorces them for their unfaithfulness, but yet He calls them back. He will al­ways take them back for He is ever faith­ful even when they are unfaithful.

In Ecclesiastes, the preacher urges the husband to enjoy life with his wife. In Proverbs, we hear the wise man tell the husband to rejoice in the wife of his youth. May you ever be captivated by her love. Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife? For a man's ways are in full view of the Lord. If husbands break faith with their wives, if they break covenant, the Lord knows. He will call to account, if not in this life then after.

Betrayal of marriage covenant is in full view of the Lord.

Paul says that husbands and wives are to reflect the relationship that Christ has with his church. He gave himself up for her. He was willing to die for her. A husband must be willing to die for his wife. He must be willing to lay down his life for his wife. That does not only mean that if she were in danger of drowning, that a husband should risk his life to save her; no, it means self-de­nial. He must not only be willing, but as well, engage in true self-denial. He must set aside his own needs, wants, hopes, demands, personality, his whole life, if it interferes with his relationship with his wife. And wives are to love their husbands, adorned with grace and good works.

It is not the example of husband and wife which illustrates the relationship of Christ and his church, but rather the opposite is true. It is the way in which our Saviour acted with respect to the church, his people, that is the model for husbands. As Christ lay down his life for his church so husbands are to love their wives. As the church is to love her Saviour, with total devotion, commit­ment and honour, so a wife is to love her husband.

That means that young people too, are to understand the covenant character of dating and courting. Dating and go­ing steady and becoming engaged is part of the road; it is preparation for en­tering into covenant. It is preparation for lifelong friendship. It is the training ground for loyalty. It is an apprenticeship for faithfulness. It is the practice arena for girls to love their boyfriends. It is the re­hearsal for self-denial. And that means also with respect to sexuality. Self-de­nial is the order of the day for young men if they are to live in covenant fidelity.

Husbands love your wives. Wives love your husbands. Be friends who love at all times. Live lives of self-de­nial. Then your marriage will be estab­lished on holy ground.