After nine months of anticipation, a mother holds her newborn, excitedly exploring every detail of her child. She strokes each little finger and counts each toe. She stares into the half-closed eyes that are unaccustomed to the light. Most women feel overwhelmed with joy at the miracle of new life. For me, however, a haunting memory tainted my happiness.

With eyes welled up with tears, I nursed my baby, feeling the sting of guilt… again. Gazing at this beautiful child, my mind searched for an image of the one I never knew. My arms felt strangely empty. I longed to hold another child… my aborted child.

After all these years, the pain lingered. I remember the time I first realized the horror of my crime. During a college anatomy and physiology lab, I was appalled to see babies at various stages of development submerged in jars of preservative. Their fingers and toes were perfectly formed. I had been deceived. What they called "tissue" was really a baby who needed time to grow. Though I pleaded with God to forgive me, my guilt remained.

Can you identify with this story? Do you know someone who would? An estimated 10-15 million women have experienced abortion in this country. Many deeply regret that decision. These women live in our neighborhoods and worship in our churches. They may be family members. But, since abortion is such a well-kept secret, you might never know who they are.

For a woman affected by abortion, some days seem normal. Other times, she feels close to losing her mind. The abortion done years ago left a gaping wound in her mind, heart and spirit. She may suffer in isolation, sharing her pain with no one. Unable to resolve feelings of guilt and shame, she experiences what is known clinically as Post Abortion Syndrome (PAS).

What is PAS?⤒🔗

PAS occurs as women suppress their grief over the loss of the aborted baby. They might suppress grief by denying that the child was a unique person. They may have called it "tissue." Women also repress sorrow because abortion was "their choice." Denial blocks the natural grieving process causing emotional and spiritual problems.

At some point, this wall of denial begins to crumble. Perhaps she will see pictures of prenatal development. Becoming pregnant again might remind her of the past. Or, she may recognize the value God places on human life, even from conception.

When an aborted woman can no longer deny her grief, she begins to experience symptoms of PAS. A brief list of common symptoms includes: depression, guilt, anger, anxiety, low self-esteem, difficulty maintaining close relationships, sexual dysfunctions, nightmares, sleep disorders, drug or alcohol abuse, suicidal impulses, and a preoccupation with being pregnant. A woman may experience several of these symptoms. Some appear soon after the abortion. Others may occur five, ten, or even twenty years later.

Steps to Healing←⤒🔗

Destruction of the spirit is the tragic aftermath of sin in our lives. Therefore, it is not surprising that aborted women often feel estranged from God. Many bear a lingering sense of guilt and remorse. Ultimately, healing will come through restoration to fellowship with Christ. The process of healing involves overcoming the obstacles that hinder restoration.

Overcoming Denial←↰⤒🔗

The woman reviews details of the abortion and accepts responsibility for her sin.

Overcoming Anger←↰⤒🔗

A woman may harbor anger toward others involved in the abortion decision. She must come to forgive these people.

Overcoming Depression←↰⤒🔗

In order to overcome depression, an aborted woman must fully believe God's forgiveness. She will need to fix her eyes on Jesus, taking the focus off of herself and her sorrow. Bringing her burdens to God in prayer and reading the Bible help her. Sharing with an understanding friend or counselor is also beneficial.

Overcoming Guilt←↰⤒🔗

After genuine repentance, the aborted woman holds tightly to God's promises to forgive. Free of the guilt that once bound her, the aborted woman can now live a full life, receiving God’s blessings of peace, joy and hope. She serves God and others, perhaps entering a special ministry God has prepared.

God promises in Revelation 3:21,

To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne.

For the aborted woman, overcoming denial, anger, depression, and guilt restores her to a victorious life in Christ. In fellowship with the Savior, she looks forward to eternal life with Christ.

What can the Church do?←⤒🔗

Picture the woman caught in adultery. The Pharisees drag her before Jesus and disclose her terrible sin. Her expression reveals the pain of guilt and shame. She glances fearfully at those who would stone her. Then Jesus, filled with compassion, urges,

If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.John 8:7

The angry mob trickles away until the woman faces only her Savior. Jesus, without condoning her sin and without condemnation, encourages her to go on her way, leaving her life of sin.

As his church, we continue Jesus' ministry on earth. Our task is to help sinners find restoration. The survivors of abortion long for this. Some do not know Jesus. They yearn for the peace that forgiveness brings.

Others, like me, are Christians who have carried the burden of guilt and shame throughout their lives. This cripples women spiritually. Some remain distant and uninvolved in their local church, feeling unworthy to serve Christ. Others work untiringly for the church or for pro-life causes. But, what looks like service, can often be a self-imposed penance, an effort to compensate for the past.

The Church is vital to the restoration of aborted women. When I dared to share my pain with other Christians, they responded with love and acceptance. I heard pastors speak specifically about forgiveness for aborted women. I met with a Christian counselor who prayed and studied God's Word with me. Together we worked through the steps to healing. Because of those caring people, I now cling to God's promises of forgiveness with my heart and soul and not just my mind.

A woman in your congregation might be needing this same restoration. Could you help her? Some suggestions:

• Convey compassion toward women as you speak out against abortion. Emphasize forgiveness.

• Educate pastors, elders and church leaders to recognize post-abortion problems in the women they counsel.

• Refer women to local post-abortion counselors. Crisis pregnancy centers often provide this service.