In an information-saturated age wisdom has become, if possible, more precious than ever. It is that redeeming quality which, if cultivated, will steer us safely through the rising tide of foolishness out there. Where is it to be found? In observant people who know the Scrip­tures and read the times. You may read it in carefully-considered statements; but often it comes in simple little comments. A week or two ago I was having, as I do every few days, a bit of a girls’ talk with my mother on the phone. We were just chatting about this and that – her ideas for a new house, the latest doings of the grandchildren, and so on – when she made some observations. “You know”, she remarked, “never have there been such beautiful and expensive kitchens but so little cooking done in them. Never have there been such luxurious and com­fortable beds that have been so seldom made. Never have so much time and money been lavished on weddings for such short-lived marriages.” Well, I was impressed – those were discerning ob­servations that contained a lot of insight. Of course they were about more than just kitchens, beds and wedding cele­brations (though my mother, bless her, prays regularly about the state of her grandchildren’s outer- and inner-lives.) Her point was that getting and spend­ing on externals these days betrays a sad emptiness within. We know how to buy stuff to look good, but inside we have no clue how to do what really matters. This was practical wisdom – gained from decades of walking with God and observ­ing – with compassion – what is going on in the culture around us.

Wisdom, in a nutshell, is sanctified common sense. It is the ability to judge correctly and make discerning choices, based on knowledge and understanding – of the Scriptures, primarily. As King Solomon wrote, it begins with the fear of God. It is impossible to have true wisdom without trusting in him. But it needs to be developed by studying the Scriptures all our lives. If we read them diligently and regularly it is likely that God will make us wise people. However, that also depends on our willingness to be changed by what we read. It’s no good, as James observed, to be someone who takes a look at the mirror but turns away, forgetting what he has seen (James 1:22-5). If we read to gain knowledge and understanding so that we can make good decisions, have the right attitudes and live more like Christ, then we will gain wisdom. We also gain wisdom by living in this world, and serving God and others in the light of the Word. It helps refine our wisdom. Every day that we carry on struggling with our own sin, living with other sinners and trying to help them is another day of storing up “hidden treasures” (Prov. 2:4) that will have value forever. A woman who has worked hard all her life at gaining wisdom will be a treasure for her family and her church. It ought to be that the longer we have lived in this world as Christ’s servants, the wiser, and the more useful, we will prove.

It’s obvious everyone needs wisdom. Foolishness, or lack of wisdom, has awful consequences – in this life as well as in the next. In many of his proverbs Solomon contrasts the effects of wisdom and foolishness. He draws sketches of what happens to wise people; and of the kinds of disasters that befall the foolish. Who wants to reap the fruits of fool­ishness – poverty, ruined relationships, disgrace? We need wisdom all our lives long; and the earlier we start gaining it, the better. The more we think about the kinds of things we need wisdom for, the more urgent that will seem.

Weighing up the Choices⤒🔗

We need wisdom to make good choices about our life’s direction. Because we often face such choices when we’re still quite young, we need to rely on the wisdom of older people to help us. So wise mothers and fathers, wise teachers, and wise older friends are all indispensa­ble. A (wise) young person will ask their advice! Choices about what course of study to take, what career to train for and where to live can be difficult to make without the input of adults who know us (our strengths and weaknesses) and who have knowledge of the world. In a sense, we are borrowing their years of Bible study and life experience to help us make our decisions about these things.

One of the most important things we need wisdom for is the choice of life’s partner – our husbands. After choosing to follow Christ, this is the great choice of our lives; and determines so much else about our life’s direction. So many other things about our lives can be changed, but a marriage is for keeps. It matters a great deal whom you choose to marry. If you marry a wise and godly man, your home will be firmly grounded. If you marry a weak and foolish man, you are heading for disaster. For this reason, it is always worrying to see young women paying so little attention to important signs of character in the young men they spend time with. A wise young woman will be asking questions like – does he encourage me in my walk with Christ? Will he be a good spiritual leader in my home, and for my children? Will he help prepare me for heaven? Is he (already) heading in such a direction that I’ll be able to respect him when he’s 45? You don’t want to end up in Abigail’s po­sition, and be faced with admitting your husband is a “worthless fellow” (1 Samuel 25:25) – do you? Take a look at the way your young man spends his time and his money. That will tell you what he sets his heart on. If you have wisdom, you will be weighing up such things. Wisdom will quickly tell you that inordinate attention paid to appearance, fast cars, loud music and the accumula­tion of money are not an indication of spiritual maturity.

Wisdom is needed for marriage and parenthood. Living together with other sinners is difficult; the more so the more intimate the relationship is. Marriage is the closest of all the relationships God gives us in this life, and is the picture of our relationship with Christ. Being so, it was meant to be very good. But because the level of intimacy is great (shared home, shared lives, shared everything...) the potential for sin to destroy it is also great. In this day, perhaps more than many others, we need wisdom if we are going to resist the many assaults on it. We are exposed to every difficul­ty common to modern man; but having access to biblical wisdom and the grace of God in our hearts we can recognise sin when it tempts us and say “no” to it. There have been many wise words spoken and wise books written on the subject of marriage. Investing in a few, and reading them carefully is among the most sensible things a young person can do to prepare for marriage.¹

Wisdom, as any Christian parent knows, is absolutely essential for bringing up children well. The responsibilities of parenthood are huge: they are not for the fainthearted. Children expose our inadequacies. By their imitation of our lives they reveal our sin to us; and so we long to do better. But the Scriptures say plenty about being a parent, and in the church there are usually many who’ve travelled the road before. So we can draw on their wisdom. Take a look around – see who’s done well – and ask for their help!

Construction or Deconstruction?←⤒🔗

In the book of Proverbs Solomon con­tinually sets two ways of living before us: the way of wisdom, and the way of foolishness. But there is one place where Solomon draws this contrast particularly for women. In 14:1 he depicts the wise woman as she who “builds her house” while “folly” (the foolish woman) as she who “with her own hands tears it down.” The contrast is stark, and can be put like this: Do you want to be like the heavy machinery in central city Christchurch right now – bashing and crashing at damaged buildings; crunching at con­crete and knocking the life out of it – or do you want to build wisely, on good foundations, something that will stand the test of time? That’s the choice he sets before us. We can either set about laying good foundations for lives of wisdom, love and service – or we can choose all the life-wrecking options that drag us and others down to destruction. There is no better time to set the right course than when you’re young.

You see, the sobering thing is that we all leave a legacy. For some it is a legacy of godly living that stands firm and shelters generations to come. But for others, who tear their house down, it is a legacy of rubble. Poor choices in youth, bad decisions in marriage, reck­less living, ill-discipline, discontentment, living for the moment, all set bad pat­terns for the children growing up in such a setting. Sadly, bad marriages and weak parenting get repeated, down the gener­ations. That is what happens, unless the grace of God intervenes. Heed Solomon; and build well.