Introduction⤒🔗

Sometimes we are faced with the issue of suicide¹ either because one of our church mem­bers or family members has committed suicide, or because a loved one of a church member has done so. When confronted with suicide, we feel perplexed and guilty. We wonder: 'What could I have done to prevent this?' It always seems as if we could have done more. In this article I do not intend to pronounce judgments. Instead, I intend to make some suggestions by giving Biblical, ethical, and pastoral directives.

Many questions surround the complex topic of suicide. Who knows what is going on inside a person, except the person's own spirit? (cf. 1 Corinthians 2:11). Moreover, who knows his own heart? Who knows his own motives? Isn't everyone a riddle to himself at times? Those who have died by suicide lie in the grave and do not speak. There is a dark veil lying over their death.²

Terminology←⤒🔗

Although there appears to be "little agreement on a formal definition,"³ I take the word suicide to mean self-murder or self-destruction. It is the deliberate or intentional taking of one's own life. It is to be distinguished from the willing surrender of one's life, often called self-surrender.⁴

Reasons for Suicide←⤒🔗

We are being told that most suicides and suicide attempts are reactions to intense feelings of loneliness, worthlessness, helplessness, depression, etc. At the same time, it is important to note that many people cause their own death without making a conscious decision to commit suicide. People who drive recklessly, abuse alcohol or other drugs, or ignore serious illnesses, often do so because they have the same feelings as those who consciously commit suicide. We are being told that the process of a crisis which leads to suicide begins with a sudden, traumatic event, such as the loss of a loved one through death, or the loss of a loved one through divorce, or the loss of a job (demotion at work), or financial loss, etc.⁵

Scriptural Directives to be Practiced←⤒🔗

The following are simply some directives and do not pretend to be exhaustive.

a.  The Sovereignty of God←↰⤒🔗

Scripture proclaims the reality of the Sovereign Lord over all of creation, from Whom all value and meaning flow (Genesis 1, 2). The world we live in is a world under God. Scripture pictures all that exists as having value and meaning only as seen as a gift and favour from God. For this reason value and meaning are not intrinsic to any person or thing as such, but neither is the life in this world devoid of meaning and value. Rather, life is bestowed upon all creatures by God as His gift. Because of this, God calls upon society and each member of society to recognize Him and His Word and to recognize the value and meaning which God has given to them. In this world view of a cosmos under God, we are not in a position to argue intrinsic rights, such as, for instance, the right to self-determination.

Scripture describes life as a gift from God (Genesis 1, 2). In Him is the fountain of life (Psalm 36:9). God did not need human life, for He in Himself is life. But He was pleased to create human life outside of Himself, yet entirely in dependence upon Him, although He gave human life a measure of freedom. He gave human life a place on this earth and in a community with other human beings. This is how God construed it and how He wants it to be lived. These things are all involved in man bearing the image of God (Genesis 1:27; 9:6).

Man is not the author of his own life. Parents are not the authors of the lives of their children, even though the Lord made use of them as His instruments. Neither is man the absolute owner of his life or of his children. Therefore, no one may do with His life or the life of others as he pleases.

Life is also a favour of the Lord. After all, sin came into the world by man (Genesis 3). Through sin man rejected God's sovereignty and deprived himself of life. After all, "the wages of sin is death" (Romans 6:23). Nevertheless, God intervened and promised him life. Eve is called "the mother of all living" (Genesis 3:20). From her the Son of God was born many centuries later. However, He had to lay down His life. Through Him God has bestowed His favour on man to live for Him and live in love with one another.

Nevertheless, death is a reality in this world. As a result of sin there is sickness, suffering, and death. Hezekiah's sickness, narrated in Scripture, may serve as an illustration at this point. One day he "was sick unto death" (Isaiah 38:1). His life was ebbing away. He expressed the implication of death in these words: "I shall not see the Lord, even the Lord in the land of the living; I shall not behold man again with the inhabitants of the world" (Isaiah 38:11). Life is more than just breathing, eating and drinking, working and relaxing, being awake and asleep; it is more than thinking and enjoying pleasures. Life is living in fellowship with the LORD on this earth and in companionship with man. That is the biblical meaning of life on earth as a favour of the Lord.

On his sickbed Hezekiah learned to see the high value of life as a gift from God and as a favour from the LORD. In the Isaiah 38 passage he refers to his sins (verse 17). The LORD did not only confront him with death, but also with his sins. Then he called upon the LORD. The LORD heard his prayer and granted him another fifteen years of life, as a gift and favour of the Lord, a gift and favour which had to be purchased by Jesus Christ on the cross. There Christ was forsaken of God and man. This latter reference is crucial. Sinful man is in need of redemption. Redemption involves suffering – the substitutionary suffering of Jesus Christ.

This Christological line that Scripture spells out throughout its pages is of crucial significance. Suicide is not to be considered an option simply because of the sanctity of life which flows from Scripture's teaching of God as Sovereign Creator and man made in His image. After all, in God's eyes every man, on account of his sin, is worthy of death. Nevertheless, "God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved" (John 3:17). Jesus Christ was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the virgin Mary, and He suffered and died. He is "the Lamb of God Who bears (away) the sin of the world" (John 1:29) and also the consequences of sin. In body and soul He bore the wrath of God against the sin of the whole human race.⁶ He tasted death "for every man" (Hebrews 2:9).⁷ The implication from this, for one thing, is that suicide is not only sin against God the Creator, but also sin against God the Redeemer.

b.  The Comfort of the Holy Spirit←↰⤒🔗

Scripture refers to the Holy Spirit as the Comforter of Christians. The Holy Spirit "assures me of eternal life and makes me heartily willing and ready" to live for Christ.⁸ He does this also in times of suffering and death. To be sure, suffering is not the only means the Holy Spirit as Sanctifier uses in God's process of sanctification. Nevertheless, "suffering is an essential" mecha­nism in His hands. Amundsen puts it like this: God "works through suffering when the believer is left in his affliction without healing or comfort, is tried and tested by it, and is strengthened by the Holy Spirit in and through this refining process."⁹ When we become ill unto death and no longer have what we and others consider to be a significant role in society, the Holy Spirit brings to mind the Word of the Lord that He considers our life here as His gift and favour, even when it seems there is no more significance to our life. As human beings we are more important than our work, more important than any contribution we can make to society. It may well be that I do not understand my extreme way of suffering, but "Jesus is my Sovereign. He has bought me with His blood. I have been called into a fellowship of suffering with Him." From Psalm 116:15 we know that the death of God's people touches Him deeply: "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His godly ones." It may be that in my dying "my comprehension of His marvelously condescending love will be enriched when … the Holy Spirit will be my Comforter and Jesus my Comfort."¹⁰

Reference needs to be made to the role of faith.¹¹ The Holy Spirit works faith in the heart. The Bible points out various aspects of faith. By faith we become partakers of Christ and all His benefits.¹² Moreover, the comfort which is to be obtained by the knowledge of God's providence is a comfort which is obtained only by faith. It is by faith that we can also live and overcome the world.¹³ It is by faith that we can fulfill whatever God's purposes are for us – subdue kingdoms, work righteousness.¹⁴ But it is also by faith that we can suffer and endure the things that come upon us. The grace of faith is just as powerful and victorious if we have to suffer. We will be sustained.¹⁵

This view, that emphasizes that often the stronger faith is evident in the one who endures sickness of a chronic and terminal kind, and is not healed, is quite contrary to the view of those who equate strong faith with recovery from illness.

It is important to see why, in view of Jesus Christ's vicarious suffering and death, those who believe in Him still must suffer and die. Although resurrection "hope shines into the night … on this side of death the darkness lingers."¹⁶ To be sure, the suffering of those who believe in Him is no payment for our sin, but an abolishing of sin.¹⁷ It is because Christ has borne the wrath of God that suffering is not without perspective. Paul's' account in 2 Corinthians 12 with reference to the thorn in his flesh (verse 7) may serve as illustration. On three occasions he besought the Lord to free him from these satanic assaults. But when the Lord responded by saying that He would not free him and added, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness" (verse 9), then Paul said: "…I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake…" (verse 10).

Scripture also says that "Jesus Christ … has abolished death" (2 Timothy 1:10). We still die, but Jesus Christ has broken the power of death by destroying its finality. Death is a painful experience; but that pain is bearable for those who remember that in Christ the penalty has been paid, and the sting has been removed (1 Corinthians 15:55f.). Through Jesus' death for all who believe in Him, death is "not a satisfaction for … (their) sins, but only an abolishing of sin, and a passage into eternal life."¹⁸ When believers fall asleep in their Saviour, the Lord of life, they are delivered once and for all from sin's grasp, Satan's power, and death's claim. Thus they face it not in fear but in faith, for "we are more than conquerors" in Jesus Christ (Romans 8:37).

When we suffer, "for Christ's sake" we may face it with the perspective that one day we shall be delivered from the body of this death, to be with Christ (Philippians 1:23), the Lamb that was slain, Whom we shall adore, and even one day in our flesh we shall see God (Job 19:26).

c.  Scripture and Suicide←↰⤒🔗

There are people who say that there are passages in Scripture that only report reality and do not contain morality, that is, moral judgment.¹⁹ First of all, it must be said that so-called 'biblical silence' at this point does not mean that Scripture approves of suicide or is indifferent to it.²⁰ Secondly, whereas Samson's death may be "an example of self-sacrifice out of fidelity to God," the deaths of Saul and his armour-bearer, Ahithophel, and Judas are clearly cases of self-murder.²¹ Thirdly, it is striking that in several cases they are "the consequence of extremely grave sin, for example, in the case of the traitors Ahithophel and Judas."²² Ahithophel refused to acknowledge David as God's anointed king. He took offence at God for giving David a place on the throne. Judas stumbled over the same stone of God's good pleasure. He rejected the Lord Jesus and despised the grace of God in Him. Similarly, King Saul's self-murder was the culmination of a life in which he took issue with the sovereignty of God.²³

Scripture does not suggest anywhere that suffering might justify the taking of human life.²⁴ Job, in his suffering, did long for death, but he expressed it to God. He did not think of taking his own life (Job 3, 6, 7, 14). In 2 Corinthians 1:4 Paul blesses God for comforting "us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God." He goes on to write about "the sufferings of Christ" abounding in us, "that our consolation also abounds by Christ" (verse 5). In these passages "the Bible seems to define a way of life in suffering." Secular standards of love and mercy place value on medicine, not only to fight suffering, but also to help to die without suffering by suicide. Scripture, indeed, teaches that God gives us medicine to combat suffering, but prohibits taking one's life. According to Scripture, "we may never take our lives, even at death's door,"²⁵ but we must learn to come to terms with this encounter by suffering in a Christian way. Christ never taught His disciples to escape suffering by death, but rather taught them to take up their cross and follow Him (Luke 9:23).

In view of the fact that Christians belong to Jesus (Romans 14:8-9; John 10:27-30), "they should not fear physical death."²⁶"The sting of death has been removed; the fear of death has been viti­ated." Paul's "supreme ambition was that 'Christ shall even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death" (Philippians 1:20). ²⁷

There is the comfort of the Lord's abiding presence, as Psalm 23 describes it. We enter into the dark valley of pain and trial, remembering God's gracious promise, "I will not leave you nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5). The words, "Thou art with me" (Psalm 23:4), express not only divine companionship but also divine compassion. The Good Shepherd loves and cares for me who am His sheep. "Death is both our enemy and friend. This paradox of death, like the paradox of suffering, no Christian can escape. Nor should we want to."²⁸ Those who believe in Jesus know that one day their "broken mortal bodies shall be raised up like (Christ's) glorious body."²⁹

To commit suicide is disobedience to the Lord, "a failure of love and a breach of trust."³⁰

Suicide and Early Christian Values←⤒🔗

Suicide was not a problem for the early Christian community. There is no shred of evidence of suicide by Christians for the first 250 years of the Christian era. We know of no Christian in that period of time committing sui­cide under any circumstances or for any reason, unless one should argue that Judas is the one exception. It was so inherently contrary to Christian values and priorities that it was not considered a viable option for Christians.³¹

According to Amundsen, "some modern scholars" have made "highly distorted conclusions about early Christian attitudes toward suicide."³² They argue that the early Christians were morbidly obsessed with death and believed that life on earth was important only as a preparation for the hereafter; their supreme duty was to avoid sin, which would result in perpetual punishment. They argue that many early Christians committed suicide for fear of falling before temptation.³³ They blame Augustine for being the architect of the Christian condemnation of suicide and argue that his position was not authentically Christian.

Their position is mistaken. Augustine "clarified and provided a theologically cogent explanation of and justification for the position held by earlier and contemporary Christian sources."³⁴

It is remarkable that towards the end of the patristic era some sources³⁵ did approve of one form of suicide, that is, suicide by women to preserve their chastity. For the rest, it must be said that for many early Christians spiritual life took precedence over physical life. "The Christian was frequently urged to give his life willingly as a martyr if the only alternative was denying Christ." In case of sickness, the Christian was urged to "seek healing," but not to "cling desperately to life," for his sickness was "potentially the God-given vehicle for his homegoing."³⁶

Suicide and Reformed Values←⤒🔗

In general, the Reformers of the sixteenth century and the Reformers of the so-called second Reformation strongly condemn suicide. Calvin, for instance, in a sermon on 1 Samuel 31:1-6 calls suicide an appalling and abominable crime before God. According to Calvin, we must learn to be ready for death when God orders it. In the mean time we ought to wait for the time when He Who as sovereign Commander has placed us in this world, calls us home.

According to some, King Saul was courageous and steadfast to end his own life rather than falling into the hands of his enemies. Calvin strongly disagrees. True Christian courage and steadfastness calls us to take our place here till God calls us away from that place. Similar views were held by other Reformed theologians and pastors. The Dutch theologian, K. Exalto, refers to men such as Jeremias Bastingius (1551-1595), Wilhelmus a Brakel (1635-1711), William Ames (1576-1633), Johannes a Marck (1656-1731), and Willem Teelinck (1579-1629). By way of summary, Exalto writes: "All their fingers pointed to the words sin, guilt, God's judgment". In this regard there has been no disagreement in the Christian tradition.³⁷

The Need to be Uncompromising but Compassionate←⤒🔗

K. Exalto writes: "The Gospel teaches us to hate sin and to love the sinner. It is so easy to fall into extremes at this point. On the one hand, we can so abhor the sin, particularly in this instance the sin of suicide, that we can no longer properly judge the sinner. On the other hand, we can show so much compassion and sympathy for the person who committed suicide that we no longer disapprove of their action. Both extremes are incorrect."³⁸ In these words Exalto expresses a tension which stands out throughout his book. While he resolutely rejects suicide, he at the same time compassionately draws attention to the complex motives for suicide. He is gentle towards those who committed suicide and pas­torally reaches out to those struggling with this issue.

Exalto shows that the Christian theologians and pastors who in the course of the centuries have dealt with this issue and the persons involved in general have kept themselves from making a judgment as to the eternal destiny of those who have committed suicide. Luther compared those who committed suicide with persons who, while travelling through a forest, were murdered by highwaymen. They do not commit the crime of suicide voluntarily but rather because they have been overpowered by Satan. In one of his Table talk's, he said: "I do not share the opinion that self-murderers are certainly lost."

Nevertheless, one should not hold up such a pronouncement to the common people, for then Satan is easily given opportunity to cause people to commit suicide." He opens the door only "a crack," in order that no one will abuse this compassion and no afflicted person will give in to the evil impulses which the devil wields on him or her. Luther wholly condemns suicide, but compassionately thinks of and speaks about the afflicted person who dies by his or her own hand. Many others thought along the same lines. Calvin, for instance, refused to pass a final judgment on king Saul. He refrained from making a general pronouncement along the lines of "all self-murderers perish in hell."³⁹

Pastors such as John Bunyan (1628-1688),⁴⁰ Wilhelmus a Brakel (1635-1710⁴¹ and possibly also Bernardus Smytegelt (1665-1739)⁴² believed and said that self-murderers are certainly lost and are in hell.⁴³ But many other theologians⁴⁴ and pastors from the Reformation, such as Martin Luther (1483-1546),⁴⁵ John Calvin (1509-1564),⁴⁶ William Perkins (1558-1602),⁴⁷ and Second Reformation theologians such as Gisbertus Voetius (1588-1676),⁴⁸ William Ames (1576- 1633),⁴⁹ Samuel Maresius (1599-1673), Godefridus Cornelisz Udemans (1580-1649), Petrus de Witte (1622-1669), and Simon Oomius (1630-1707),⁵⁰ and many others refused to pronounce a judgment!⁵¹

Who are we to make a judgment about self-murderers? Who can suspect what goes on in a person's soul before he dies by his own hand?⁵² We must leave the judgment with regard to a self-murderer to God. J. Douma refers to G. Voetius who distinguished between those who directly and of their own choice kill themselves and those who accidentally and in ignorance⁵³ kill themselves. How sick or deranged was that woman's mind when she jumped off the 10^th floor? What went on in the heart of the man who hanged himself from the shower? To be sure, there is the commandment not to kill, but the judgment regarding the man or woman who committed suicide belongs to God. Nevertheless, we need to emphasize that the act of self-murder is a serious violation of the commandment of God.

W. H. Velema argues that we should not play down the seriousness of the sin of suicide, as if it is in the same category as other sins for which we need to daily ask for forgiveness. In self-murder a person says no to the gift of life and the grace of God to live. The sin of suicide is different from all other sins in that it can be committed only once. Those who commit suicide cannot ask for forgiveness after the act, unless in the very final moment there is still a cry for mercy for Christ's sake. It doesn't say anywhere in the Bible or in our creedal statements that self-murder equals the blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, which according to Matthew 12:31 "shall not be forgiven." Nevertheless, we may not conclude from these words of the Lord Jesus that therefore the sin of suicide is pardonable.⁵⁴ Still, I would not dare say that every self-murderer is lost and in hell forever.⁵⁵

The Weapon Against Suicide←⤒🔗

The weapon against suicide is the believing confession that one may not and need not commit suicide. Paul writes to the church of God in Corinth that "God is faithful, Who will not suffer you to be tempted above that you are able; but will with the temptation⁵⁶also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it" (1 Corinthians 10:13). God's faithfulness in Christ is a compelling reason to reject suicide, even in the most distressing situation. Whatever intensifying temptation there may be to commit suicide, there is hope in Jesus Christ. He is our hope. Christian hope is given to us particularly in the miracle of Christ's resurrection from the dead. From this miracle there is the way – not to death – but to life.

Prevention←⤒🔗

We may not assist anyone to commit suicide. On the contrary, we must do our best to prevent suicide. At the same time we must realize that even with the best prevention suicide sometimes can­not be prevented. I wish to bring out three types of preventatives:

1.  General Prevention←↰⤒🔗

Just as information about proper nutrition can prevent all sorts of diseases, and just as warnings against the use of alcohol and drugs can prevent addiction, so it is also possible to provide some general prevention with respect to suicide. From a Scriptural point of view this requires us to point to the need for coming to know Christ, to live for Christ, and to find redemption from sin and also from suicide. The Gospel is the best prevention from despair.

This, however, is not sufficient. The Gospel must be a message within a communion (community) of saints. True communion of saints deals with the cause of suicide: loneliness. I believe that new and fresh emphasis needs to be placed on the importance of nurturing relationships in Christian marriage and family life. Another place to nurture true communion is in the Christian schools. Similarly, this should take place in the congregation.

Whenever the topic of death comes up, we must pay particular attention to current ideas about death – views which see death not only as an enemy, but also as a friend and where the argument is made that suicide is man's free decision.

2.  Medical and Psychiatric Prevention←↰⤒🔗

By this I mean medical and psychiatric help for those who are at risk with regard to suicide or attempted suicide. We should not merely say to such persons, "You think way too much; you should get to work and keep busy," etc. The opinion that those who talk about suicide most likely will not commit suicide is a dangerous misunderstanding. When loved ones are giving indication of thinking of committing suicide, please telephone their physician and possibly arrange for hospitalization in the psychiatric ward of a hospital.

By saying this, I do not mean to say that they do not need any pastoral and other non-medical help. On the contrary, a regular appointment with them, an encouraging smile, a question that reflects sympathy, patient listening to someone who wants to pour out his heart can relieve depression.

Lack of love to such people can be disastrous. A girl of thirteen years of age committed suicide and in a note left in her bedroom she wrote among other things: "I had everything I wished for except one thing: love." In brief, spending prime time with a loved one and medical therapy need to go hand in hand.

3.  Prevention after Attempt to Suicide←↰⤒🔗

I am referring to prevention in the occurrence of those who have attempted suicide, but whose attempt was aborted (unsuccessful). Also in this case medical expertise is necessary. But also needed, again, are the intensive efforts of the congregation as the communion of saints to encourage such a person. If the attempt of suicide has been a "cry for help," we need to ask: "Where have I failed in my Christian life as husband or wife; where have we failed in our Christian love as family and as congregation?" And we need to show what love is. At the same time I want to add that the community need not be informed about the reason for the attempted suicide.

Pastoral Help for Those Bereaved by a Suicide←⤒🔗

If a loved one has committed suicide, then the bereaved loved ones need help. The process of their mourning is different from other bereavements. There is a wide range of emotions. Some survivors feel intense anger at the person who committed suicide; others experience remorse and guilt, struggling with questions such as: "Am I (are we) to be blamed for his or her death? Can I (we) ever get over this terrible happening in my (our) life (lives)?"

It is important to listen to these people as they express their emotions, without cutting them short. Painful and smarting happenings such as these need to be worked through and should not be simply shoved away or repressed. Also, if there are feelings of guilt on the part of the bereaved loved ones, they need to be taken seriously. Not every guilt-feeling can be traced to real guilt, but if there is guilt, it needs to be addressed. However, the final word should not be the guilt, but rather the grace which is in Christ Jesus. His grace alone can truly heal and save.