This word from the apostle Paul to Timothy (1 Tim. 4:12a) is remarkable. He is not writing to the church of Ephesus, commanding its elders not to look down on young Timothy. He writes this to Timothy. He may mean: "Do not be intimidated by those who despise your youth, but be firm in your convictions, knowing that our gospel is not of men, but of God." In the context, however, it means: "Timothy should not give any occasion for men to detract from the weight of his words, because of an immature demeanor." For the text continues: "...but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity" (1 Tim. 4:12).

This has a ready application to any young minister, young office bearer, or young believer. They should comport themselves in an exemplary way, in disposition, speech, and actions. They ought to be models in their exercise of all the gifts of the Spirit: in charity, faith, patience, gentleness, purity, etc. Samuel was such a model. "And Samuel grew, and the LORD was with him, and did let none of his words fall to the ground. And all Israel from Dan even to Beersheba knew that Samuel was established to be a prophet of the Lord" (1 Sam. 3:18). Christ preeminently was such a model. "And Jesus increased ... in favour with God and man" (Lk. 2:52).

It is not uncommon, however, for adults to entertain a negative reservation regarding young people; sometimes they even have disdain. This attitude is not foreign to the church and it has alienating consequences. It may even foster in young people the attitude of bitterness and estrangement. This may be due to a biological or psychological explanation. Young people are developing their personality and adjusting as they go through different stages of maturation. It is certain that sin has corrupted us so that these developments, which otherwise would have been pure and wholesome, have become stained by sin. They now have a certain corrupt and deviant character, which they would not have had if we had remained in the state of innocence. Nevertheless, is "disdain" ever to be the attitude of adults towards youth and youths?

There is no scriptural warrant for disdain of young people within the church. Indeed, to "despise" any of these "little ones" is strictly forbidden (Matt. 18:10). This does not just extend to the little ones in faith, for Christ annexes an explanation to that statement: "For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost" (Matt.18:11). How wrong we have been if we have despised any of these little ones! Just as slaves are not to despise their masters (1 Tim. 6:2), nor "him that eateth him that eateth not" (Rom. 14:3), neither should any of us despise the youth of Timothy or any other youth.

What should our attitude be? Especially, what should be the attitude of office bearers when they seek to give guidance to the youth? Allow me to give three directives.

Love Our Youth⤒🔗

We cannot do our work as office bearers without loving our young people. We need to love them as sheep of the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made us overseers (Acts 20:28). To love them is to give them a place in our heart and prayers. To love them is to show interest in them. The word interest is derived from the Latin verb interesse, which means, "to be among them."

I know of a pastor and his wife who stay with each family of the congregation once per year. In this way they are able to minister better to the family. I know of another pastor, who at the suggestion of one of his parishioners, a young truck driver, went along on the trucking route for several days and nights. They spent a lot of time together. Back home, the pastor said: "Jim, I had no idea what you all go through on the roads and truck stops. Now when I see you sit in church I have an idea of what you face during the week."

I realize that we cannot do this with all our members, neither with all our young people. But we are able to sit down with them and talk with them. Let them share what they encounter at work or school and during their time off. Let them share some of the temptations they encounter and how they respond in the fear of the Lord or have succumbed to them. Can they say that we truly show interest in them?

Be Slow to Anger←⤒🔗

Sometimes young people say things that upset us. They can be very critical and use words that need a Christian response. How should we respond? Let's not be easily daunted. Even if we feel pain in our hearts about what they say, let us keep that pain inside of us for a while. Young people love to test us to see how we faithfully respond to things that they encounter, things they think we don't face in our sheltered lives. They are testing us to see whether our love can handle severe criticism like theirs. They probe us to see whether our hope can stand up to their words of frustration or unbelief in the Word of God. In this way they share their inner struggles with us and hope for a hand that reaches out to them, like a lifeline. Sometimes they want to see our faith, love, and hope at work. If these collapse in the wake of their critical comments, they find it difficult to respect us.

It is important, therefore, not to simply knock them out in an argument and think that we're winning this battle. It might be at the expense of losing the souls of young members. The important thing is to gain them for the love of Christ. Once that has taken place, we can point out what was not quite fair in their severe criticism. Often we do not need to use many words for that. They sense it and feel ashamed, whether they express it right away or not.

Instead of turning them away, let us bring them to Jesus, as Andrew did with Peter (Jn. 1:41), or the mothers of Salem with their children (Mk.10:16). If we can listen with a heart filled with love that seeks to lead them to Jesus, we will find that this love is very powerful. Instead of getting back at them in frustration, let's express our disappointment and frustration to the Lord in a silent prayer. They don't need to know about that, at least not for the time being.

Be Honest←⤒🔗

Be honest if you do not know how to answer them. Be open and tell them that you need to think about it, consult with someone, or bring them in contact with someone. Be honest also when it comes to conflicts that they may be having with their parents, their pastor or a friend. If they are right, don't put them in the wrong. Remember too, that agreeing with them does not imply that you will attack the person who has wronged them.

We are not to condone the sins of young persons. They can only be taken away through forgiveness for Jesus' sake. Whoever lives in sin cannot be saved. Let's remember: God hates sin. It is true, He has declared his love for the world (Jn. 3:16), but it is in the way of faith that His love and salvation is experienced. Let's not cover up the seriousness of perishing, although we need to look for the right moment to bring this up. Let's not compromise the demands of the law of God. Let's expound the law biblically and show how the law lays a claim to every area of our life.

Be Gospel-Oriented←⤒🔗

Whether we deal with the youth, the elderly or any group in our congregation, we must not lose the per­spective that the gospel is the only real cure for sin, that love for Christ is the one thing needful, and that the Holy Spirit's work is necessary and pertinent. We might think this belongs to the spiritual realm and does not impinge upon the practical problems of the youth. On the contrary, the gospel is essentially the answer to a broken and guilty world and all its problems. The gospel is one of love, reconciliation, and truth — in the first place in the vertical direction — but also on the horizontal and human plane.

Those who disdain young people and their concerns, who despise the youth of the church, are not living out of the gospel of grace. The Lord promises to turn the hearts of the generations to each other (Mal. 4:6), to bind them together in the fear of His name, to give visions to young people and to give dreams to older ones (Acts 2:17).