Introduction⤒🔗

The task of an elder in the Reformed churches involves many different responsibilities. Chief among them is the duty of getting to know the church members who have been placed under his spiritual care and oversight.

But how will he get to know them? The most obvious answer is that this involves the work of visitation. He will need to meet with them on a regular basis and in that way come to know them. He will especially want to know them as persons and their spiritual condition.

Hence, pastoral visitation constitutes an important part of the elder's work. Some would say that it represents the most important aspect.

1. Pastoral Visitation←⤒🔗

1. The Biblical Basis for Visitation←↰⤒🔗

• Its roots are to be found in a host of biblical words which describes an elder's task:

"keep watch" (Acts 20:28 – NIV)

Greek word – "prosecho" also translated as "take heed" (RSV) or "pay careful attention to" (ESV)

a present imperative expressing the idea of constant watchfulness

"overseers" (Acts 20:28 – NIV)

Greek word – "episcopos" also translated as "bishops" (ASV)

a word describing someone who has oversight; in secular Greek it referred to someone who inspected the ranks

"shepherd/shepherding" (Acts 20:28; 1 Pet. 5: 2 NIV)

Greek words – "poimen, poimaino" – a noun and verb referring to the duty to take care of or defend the flock, originally of sheep but now of people

"entrusted" (1 Pet. 5:3 – NIV)

Greek word – "klaaros" – a word referring to the flock and those who have been put in charge of the flock and are thus responsible for it

• All of these words stress that there needs to be a close relationship between the elders of the church and the members assigned to him.
   
• This relationship is one in which the elders are to know the members and to care for them and for their spiritual needs.
   
• For such a relationship to exist and to function well there needs to be constant interaction between the elders and the members.
   
• One of the ways in which this interaction is facilitated and promoted is through the agency of regular visitation.

2. The Purpose of Regular Visitation←↰⤒🔗

• To promote the elders' knowledge of and relationship with the members;
   
• To ascertain whether or not the members are living out of true faith in the Chief Shepherd (1 Pet. 5:4). (Here we come to the heart of the matter! If you have visited and not really dealt with the spiritual condition of the member(s), then your visit represents a FAIL­URE. The relationship between the sheep and the Good Shepherd has precedence over all else. (Make this your first priority);
   
• To encourage the members to live lives of holiness and godliness (1 Tim. 2:2);
   
• To stimulate the members to grow in service by being a hand and foot to one another (Rom. 12);
   
• To stir up the members to be a salt of the earth and a light in the world (Mt. 5:13-16).

3. Preparations for Regular Visitation←↰⤒🔗

• Each elder must have a proper spiritual mindset. This means seeing oneself as a servant, an ambassador, and a shepherd.
   
• Each elder must know himself as dependent on the Lord and show this by praying to the Lord for wisdom, love and insight prior to the visit.
   
• Each elder should ground his visit in a particular biblical passage which he has read beforehand, studied, as well as meditated upon.
   
• Each elder should know something about the members that he is visiting by acquaint­ing himself beforehand with their ages, status (married, single), occupation, children (names and ages), special needs and other relevant details.

4. The Broader Environment of Regular Visitation←↰⤒🔗

All too often elders complain that it is difficult to get members in their ward or district to open up to them fully. Hence when problems arise they are not consulted.

For the most part this problem is due to the fact that the elder and the members in his care have not really come to know one another well. In addition, because the members do not really know their elder, they are hesitant to go to him for help and to confide in him.

The only real way to deal with this problem is for the elder to work on developing a relation­ship of knowing and trusting with the members under his pastoral care.

How can this be done? A number of thoughts and suggestions come to mind:

• On becoming an elder, drop in and introduce yourself to the members in your ward or district;
   
• In addition to the annual visit, make it a point to talk to your members before and after worship services and meetings, mark their birthdays and congratulate them (either by phone, card or visit), be aware of special events in their lives, be mindful of the children and teenagers;
   
• Host an annual barbecue or potluck supper for the members in your ward or district at your home or at some other suitable place;
   
• Lead or organize a ward or district Bible study.

Remember that being an effective elder is all about contact, contact, and more contact.

2. The Regular Member or Family Visit←⤒🔗

1. The Visitor←↰⤒🔗

• An elder enters the home of a member as a representative of Jesus Christ. This means that while you come clothed with His spiritual authority, you also need to reflect His great love, care and compassion.
   
• You must strive to conduct your visit in a gentle, wise and godly manner.
   
• You need to realize that you have also been given spiritual responsibility over this member being visited. You will have to give account as to how you deal with him or her or them.
   
• Remember that as an elder your overriding thrust is to be positive, namely to build­up, to encourage and to equip the member. While at times words of admonition will need to be uttered, their intent is ultimately not to break down but to build-up in faith, love and hope.
   
• Also, never forget that a good visit is one that dwells on the member's walk with the Lord. It seeks to determine where such a member is spiritually, to discuss the same and to stimulate it in every way.

2. The Visited←↰⤒🔗

• It is essential that when elders visit they look beyond the particular character traits of the member being visited and see him or her as someone who has been purchased by the blood of Jesus Christ. In spite of their quirks and their difficult characters, they are still to be loved.
   
• An elder must never assume that when a need for change is identified in the life of a member that this can be accomplished by human persuasion alone, much less by human pressure.
  There has to be this constant awareness that change is the prerogative of the Holy Spirit. It comes about by the application of the Word of the Spirit to the life and heart of the member.

3. The Dynamics of Visitation←↰⤒🔗

When the elders go to visit proper introductions should be made all around.

There is also no divinely ordained order for visitation.

• The customary order is:
  ​
  • start with some small and friendly talk,
  • open with prayer,
  • turn to the reading of a passage of Holy Scripture,
  • give a brief word of explanation,
  • switch over to the application and direct various questions at those present,
  • enter into a discussion regarding spiritual matters,
  • close with a word of prayer.

• Another order may be:

• start with some casual comments,
• direct it to a relevant spiritual topic,
• have an in-depth discussion,
• bring it to a close with Scripture reading and prayer.

4. Some Do's and Don'ts←↰⤒🔗

• Do: dress properly for the visit;
• pray clearly and reverently;
• select a Bible passage that lends itself to the situation;
• listen attentively;
• weigh your words with care;
• ask your questions carefully.
   
• Do not: march in, sit down and make yourself at home;
• begin with a long, long prayer; – talk, talk, talk;
• allow the conversation to dwell at length on the weather or other diversions;
• direct all of your attention at one person to the exclusion of others;
• stick doggedly to a certain issue until the member agrees with you;
• allow the member(s) being visited to set the agenda or to side-track the discussion;
• get drawn into debates on issues and complaints;
• ask questions that can be answered with either "Yes" or "No";
• overstay your welcome.

3. Visiting Different Types of Members←⤒🔗

1. Visiting Single Members←↰⤒🔗

• Insure that you are acquainted with his or her condition before the visit;
• Be sensitive to their situation and do not treat singleness as an inferior state;
• Inquire carefully about how they see and deal with their single state;
• Ask about their involvement in the life of the church and stimulate the same.

2. Visiting with Married Couples (without children)←↰⤒🔗

• Spend some extra time dealing with their relationship as husband and wife;
• Treat the matter of childlessness with care and sensitivity. More than one elder has embarrassed himself by admonishing a couple whom he thought did not want children, but instead were unable to have children.
• Discuss with such a couple as to whether or not their talents are being used fruitfully in the church.

3. Visiting with Families←↰⤒🔗

• When children are present it is important that the elder know their names and ages. Consult your ward or district records before you enter the home;
• Formulate questions or a topic of discussion for the children before you make your visit;
• Inquire about the relationship between parents and children;
• Encourage the parents in their calling to nurture and the children in their calling to listen;
• After the children depart, take some time to discuss the parent's marriage. Is it grow­ing, stagnating, being taken over by parenting?

4. Visiting the Elderly←↰⤒🔗

• Select a biblical passage that has to do with the passage of time, aging and dying. Psalm 71 comes naturally to mind as a rich and fitting springboard for explanation and discussion;
• Inquire about how their time is being used and whether it is being used well;
• Ask about whether their relationships with their children, fellow church members and neighbours are in order;
• Encourage them to use some of their extra time to pray for the needs of others.

4. Visiting – other matters←⤒🔗

1. Visiting and Reporting←↰⤒🔗

• It is advisable to do as many visits in the fall and before the end of the year as possible;
   
• Aim to make additional visits during spring and summer;
  • When reporting your visit to your fellow elders in the Consistory:
  • Be brief and to the point
  • Be selective – not everything that was said should or needs to be reported
  • Be discerning – only matters that need the judgment of the other elders need be elaborated on
     
• Insure that your reports are kept in a safe and private place

2. The Issue of Confidentiality←↰⤒🔗

This issue arises in various ways:

• Members may share some special concerns or private matters with you;
• In the meetings of the Consistory matters of a highly sensitive nature may be discussed.

Such matters need to be:

• Kept confident;
• Divulged only in very special and unique situations;
• If an elder shares it with his spouse, he remains the responsible party should confidentiality be broken.

3. Visiting Alone←↰⤒🔗

While the norm is that most elder visits should be done by two elders, there may be occasions when a visit is made by only one elder.

This may be related to the fact that,

• it is of a more casual, get acquainted nature;
• it has been requested by the member;
• it has been recommended by the other elders;
• it is deemed less threatening.

Still, there are situations in which such visits are not recommended.

Such as:

• do not meet with a female member alone or in a private place;
• do not meet alone if the visit has the potential to become controversial or confrontational.

4. Visiting with Another Elder←↰⤒🔗

• The elder who is visiting members in his ward will normally ask another elder to accompany him.
• Such an elder, if he does not have a permanent ward or district partner, is advised to invite different elders along to different visits. He is also advised to accompany as many different elders as possible. Much can be gained from such exposure.
• If you are the accompanying elder, it is advisable to let the ward or district elder lead the visit. Do not grab the reins or dominate the discussion. See yourself as being in a supporting role.

5. Visiting with the Pastor←↰⤒🔗

From time to time it may be deemed necessary or beneficial to ask the pastor to go along on a visit. Situations in which this might the case include:

• difficult pastoral problem cases;
• complaints pertaining to the minister;
• the unavailability of other elders.

6. Visiting the Sick←↰⤒🔗

• Visit before and after a serious operation, and on a regular weekly basis thereaf­ter as need requires. If a member's life hangs in the balance, a daily visit may be in order;
   
• When visiting in the hospital or home, listen carefully and compassionately to the member and do not in any way try to dominate the discussion;
   
• Hospital visiting has its own protocol:
  • No sitting on the patient's bed;
  • No obstructing the work of doctors and nursing;
  • Respect hospital visiting hours and conditions;
  • Never talk about the patient to others while he or she is sleeping or in a coma;
  • Do not overstay your welcome;
     
• Select an appropriate Scripture passage (Ps. 23, 91, 121 come to mind) comment on it and apply it to the member's situation;
   
• Pray with the member making it God-centered, personal. And pointed;
   
• Have an eye for how the rest of the family is coping, and if need be, spend extra time consoling and encouraging them.

7. Visiting the Dying←↰⤒🔗

• Careful listening is a basic requirement;
• Inquire after the member's medical condition and state of mind;
• Lead the discussion in the direction of death and dying;
• Ask in this regard about whether the member has certain questions, fears or uncertainties;
• Select Bible passages that clearly present the future and eternal hope that believers have in Christ (Job 19:25-27; Ps. 16:7-11; 23, 73:23-26; John 11; Romans 8; 1 Cor. 15; 1 Thess. 4:13-18)
• Let your speech be full of hope and encouragement;
• Pray for confidence in living and dying;
• Be mindful of the needs and condition of the immediate family and visit them as needed.

8. Visiting the Straying←↰⤒🔗

• Making contact with them will be the first challenge and then arranging a meeting time and place will be the next;
• When meeting be mindful of your body language. If it expresses disapproval right off the bat, the visit is doomed to failure before it begins;
• Do all you can to convey the impression that you are there to help and to promote the wellbeing of the member;
• Inquire about his or her life and how it is going; Show interest;
• Lead the discussion around to their poor or non-existence church attendance and noninvolvement, or around to their unbiblical behaviour;
• Probe into its underlying causes;
• Bring Scripture to bear and let its light shine on the situation;
• Pray with and for the member, if he or she will agree to this.

5. Visiting – an Enriching Work←↰⤒🔗

At times the work of visitation may be difficult, but if it is done in humble and prayerful depen­dence on the Lord and with a true love and concern for the members, it will also manifest itself to be a most beautiful work. There is nothing more rewarding than acting as a representative of Jesus Christ, the great Shepherd of the sheep, and bringing His words of grace, life and hope into the lives of those who belong to Him.