Introduction⤒🔗

The great miracle of worship is that the Lord, as it were, walks into our lives again and again. He links up with our world of experience and from there takes us along on His way. It is an unimaginably great wonder.

Yet, seeing the great variety of people in the congregation, it is precisely at this point that questions arise. Can the congregation in that broad sense really experience this wonder, or does the happening systematically overlook certain groups? We think here especially of the children. The difference between their world of experience and that of adults is so radical that you can rightfully ask the question whether children do count in the church. Here we will not speak about the place of children in the worship service, but examine what the Bible says, discuss the responsibility of the parents and finally look at the re­sponsibility of the church.

The child in the Old Testament←⤒🔗

It was quite normal for the parents to take their children along to the assemblies and the feasts. So we read in Deuteronomy 29: 10, 11:

All of you are standing today in the presence of the Lord your God — your leaders and chief men, your elders and officials, and all other men of Israel, together with your children and your wives, and the aliens living in your camps who chop your wood and carry your water.

After that Moses addressed everybody. More­over, regularly you read: "And all the people came together." We come across a very similar situation in Joshua 8: 35:

There was not a word of all that Moses commanded that Joshua did not read to the whole assembly of Israel, including the women and children, and the aliens who lived among them.

The children were also present during the celebrations of the feasts and festivals (for example, 1 Samuel 1:3, 4).

The children were always included, they took part in everything, they were also mentioned separately. The responsibility for passing on faith, however, was laid upon the parents. They had to explain the Word of the Lord to their children.

When Moses announces the institution of the Passover, he tells the parents: "And when your children ask you, 'What does this ceremony mean to you?' then tell them" (Exodus 12:26). This is also the case with the explanation of the law: "In the future, when your son asks you ... tell him ..." (Deuteronomy 6: 20). Joshua does the same after building a pile of stones taken from the river Jordan:

In the future, when your children ask you, 'What do these stones mean?' tell them ...

Joshua 4:6, 21

The Lord wants the parents to pass on the stories to the children (Exodus 10: 6; Deuter­onomy 6: 4-9; Psalm 78; Isaiah 59:21 and Joel 1:3). We also think here of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes, books that seem to have been written for the instruction in faith.

Data from the New Testament←⤒🔗

This picture continues in the New Testament. The children completely belong: "The promise is for you and your children" (Acts 2: 39). Jesus blesses the children and includes them in His teachings (Matthew 18:2, 3). In the gospels we are regularly confronted with Jesus' deep involvement with the children of the covenant people. The apostles speak directly to the children as well (1 Peter 5:5; Ephesians 6:1). They are together, young and old, in the same covenant with the Lord; are together invited to the feast of the Lord (Revelation 7). The church service already is a beginning of this feast, a meeting between God and His people; there the children ought to be present as well.

From the foregoing, it appears how important the children are in God's kingdom. The Lord cares so much for the little ones that He gives special rules for passing the gospel on to them. It also appears how important the parents first of all are, for they receive the mandate for passing on the story. From the very beginning God places the children on His way, together with their father and mother.

Our responsibility as parents←⤒🔗

Our responsibility as parents consists of two parts: our responsibility as parents and our responsibility as parents for the worship service. We will return to the latter in the next section.

The Lord clearly places the responsibility for the children's upbringing in faith with the parents. Normally, a child comes to church for the first time when it is baptized. The child is not aware of this and later will not remember any of it. There the parents promise, before God and His congregation, to instruct and have the child instructed. They themselves teach the child in the first place. Later the church, school, catechism classes and study societies are added to this process. But also then the parents' instruction may not come to a halt.

"Children enjoy what grown-ups enjoy" is a well-known educational adage. They quickly and acutely sense whether something (such as going to church) is viewed as a customary practice, a mere duty or pure enjoyment. Therefore, in order to teach children the experience the church offers, we, as parents, must first look and examine our own attitude.

When going to church is for you not a celebra­tion, your children will not experience it as a feast either. If you only go to church to hear a good sermon, then there is little for the child in it, for the most part, they hardly get anything out of it.

We do not go to church in the first place to get something. The most important matter is that we will meet the Lord there and that He receives honour. This is (should be) brought out in all sorts of aspects of the liturgy. Chil­dren will never experience that by themselves. This the parents must explain to them at home. Do you at times tell your children that God sees them in church and that God enjoys hearing them sing, and seeing them put their gifts in the collection bag, or that they are respectful during prayer? Do not picture God as a bogey-man but as a Father who enjoys having all His children come together to meet Him, grown-ups and children alike.

The respect for God must also be seen in the parents' attitude in church. Do you, for instance, gather up your stuff (or any other preparatory activity) during the blessing or do you receive it respectfully? What is your attitude during the singing, prayer, the read­ing of the Law, or, for that matter, during anything that happens in the service? Do the children see in us that all this really means something to us? We receive a lot from the Lord during the church service. The Lord greets us in the beginning and blesses us at the end. This blessing is also for the children and that you must point out to them. Let them look at the hands of the minister. At home explain to them what those words mean. The Lord gives us His law and we may confess our faith. He also gives us the good news. In principle all these things are meant for our children as well. The children ought to be   in church. They, however, have to learn from you what a church service really is. They will have to notice in you that it is a joy to go to church.

Young children like to hear something with which they are familiar. When they have memorized the Lord's Prayer and the Apos­tolic Creed at home, they will recognize it in church, enjoy it and feel involved. That is also the case with the psalms and hymns: as long as they cannot read, the memorization of the songs is very important. Perhaps it would be possible to have more simple songs that the little ones can sing as well.

Today there are many excellent aids (in the form of booklets) that are especially written for children in which the church service is ex­plained in simple terms. When you read them together with your children, they will recog­nize much of what takes place in the service. That way the church service does not become a 'far-from-their bedtime-show', but children in it learn to experience the unity between home and church.

Our responsibility as parents for the wor­ship service←⤒🔗

When we, as parents, take our responsibility for the worship service seriously, the rest will almost automatically follow. As we have seen from the Old and New Testament, the children belong to the people of God. But do they, however, belong in practice? Or is the church only for adults and children are just allowed to be there?

Here are some remarks by the Reformed Youth Council:

The church does not take children into account. Take, for instance, the pews and chairs; they are designed for adults and are far too big. The form of the liturgy and the sermon are for them like an over-sized jacket. It is really weird that parents without further ado accept the premise that their children do not count when it comes to the church service.

Because the church services are insufficiently attuned to children, some seek the solution in separate children services. During the sermon the children go to another room and listen to an explanation of a Bible passage at their level. They sing and do some crafts and then return to the main auditorium, where they sometimes present their work.

The children often experience this positively. There are no parents to nag them to sit still. No longer do they have to listen to words that are beyond their comprehension. Finally, there is something they can understand and something that actively involves them. In a word, it is fun. It is a half hour in which they are taken into account. There they really have the feeling that they belong.

Yet, in light of the foregoing, this is not the best solution. When we proceed from the fact that the child belongs in church, we must also create an environment that verifies it. How we can do this is the big question. Even if we, as parents, provide a good example, children can still get the impression that the church is an adult-only event that they are forced to attend.

It is important, in the first place, that there are a number of recognizable moments in the service in which they feel themselves person­ally involved. One such moment could be the singing of a psalm they have memorized at school that week. It could even be considered to have it sung by the children only. The ministers, furthermore, have a great responsibility in this area. In thinking about the liturgy they must always be aware of the children and whether or not they can incorpo­rate moments that especially draw the atten­tion of the children.

The sermon, however, remains the greatest stumbling block. For most children it is no more than a seemingly endless "word-knit­ting." The length of the sermon is for children far more objectional than the fact they under­stand little or nothing of it. After ten minutes (or less) most children already look forward to the moment at which the minister will say "Amen," for then at least something again will happen. This fact alone should be enough for many ministers to look critically at the length of their preaching. On average an adult can listen for about twenty minutes (?), a child definitely no more than ten. For an average sermon in our services we still use minimally half an hour. That is too long; it should surely be reduced by some ten minutes, if our chil­dren are not to associate it with dullsville. For once that association has taken root in a child's mind much has been spoiled for a long time.

It would also be good for the minister to occasionally attunes his sermon to the needs of the children. Then he does not only do a great service to the children but also to the parents. Of course, this cannot happen every Sunday and so it is the more important that there are a few moments in each sermon that attract the children's attention. For example, by using an illustration from the world of a child's experi­ence. These, too, would be wonderful starting points for a conversation at home.

No matter what, the church service still continues to be a long 'sit', certainly for little ones. That is why it cannot be prevented that at a certain moment they begin to daydream or fantasize. There, however, we do not have to leave them to their own devices either. The appointments of the church auditorium, for example, can positively influence the fantasy of children. We can also encourage small children to draw something that has to do with the service. There are also Bible picture books that will enable the little ones to be busy with God's Word in their own way.

Finally, a child does not need to understand everything that happens in church. If we would completely adapt the service to the needs of children, we would short change ourselves. Our children must travel along way. Each Sunday is but a stepping stone in a long journey. The challenge is that we, as parents and congregation, should make the journey an interesting one and not discourage them along the way. That requires from us adults a certain tolerance with respect to them. Our frustra­tions caused by their infantile behaviour can easily create the impression that there really is no place for them in church. We should cer­tainly not allow this to happen. They completely belong, as children and not as mini­ature adults.

Literature:←↰⤒🔗

1. A. de Heer-de Jong, Kinderen ... de kerk in Bij de Tijd No. 6 (Feb., 1993), pp. 22-26.
2. R. A. Houtman, "Kinderen in de Kerkdienst" in Zo nemen wij de kinderen mee (Barneveld, 1986), pp. 37-64.
3. M. Hooymeijer, Kerk met kinderen ('s­Gravenhage, 1985).
4. W. Jansen, Voor het preken de kerk uit? ('s­Gravenhage, 1989)
5. T. Kuipert-de Haan, "Kinderen de kerk uit?" in Bij de Tijd No. 3 (Sept.., 1992), pp. 12-15.
6. M. A. Vrijlandt, Liturgiek (Delft, 1987), pp. 338­346.