When I turned 45, a wise sister in the congregation told me: "Remember, you have now reached the age where it is your turn to hand out compliments. When you were younger, you enjoyed receiving a positive assessment of work done. Well, now it is your turn to do that."

I have never forgotten her advice and have tried to put it into practice. Reformed people do not stand out as those that easily impart complimentary remarks. We are stingy when it comes to sincerely praising someone. Could this in part be attributed to our fear of Roman Catholic saint-worship?

In any case I believe we can be more forthcoming in expressing appreciation for that which is worth appreciating.  Paul calls us to honour those to who honour is due (Romans 13:7) and honour men such as Epaphroditus (Philippians 2:29), and we are called by Peter to show respect to everyone (1 Peter 2:17).

God honours generously⤒🔗

When you start reading the Bible on this point, it quickly becomes apparent that the Lord is generous when speaking about the good he finds in his children. A striking example is the "attestation" he gives Job in the standoff with Satan: "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil." (Job 1:8)

What the Lord says to Noah is just as striking: "Go into the ark, you and your whole family, because I have found you righteous in this generation." (Genesis 7:1). Slightly less obvious, but equally telling, is God’s testimony about Caleb, who followed the Lord wholeheartedly (Deuteronomy 1:36); and of David, it is said that his heart was fully devoted to the Lord his God and he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord (1 Kings 15:3, 5). About kings Asa and Jehoshaphat, we are told that they feared the Lord, and that this was evident from how they reigned and what they did.

In the New Testament we hear of Zechariah and Elizabeth: "Both of them were upright in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commandments and regulations blamelessly” (Luke 1:6). Barnabas, later Paul’s co-worker, is given the name "Son of Encouragement" by the apostles (Acts 4:36). And in Hebrews 11 a whole row of faithful witnesses pass before our eyes, of whom amazing things are said.

It is significant that the Lord Jesus, in Revelation 2 and 3, apart from sins and shortcomings, also identifies the good he finds in the seven congregations. He “knows" their deeds, faith and perseverance, and speaks about it.

From all these Scripture references, it is clear that God honours those who honour him (according to 1 Samuel 2:30) and that this confirms that "God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him......." (Hebrews 6:10).

Honour those who honour him←⤒🔗

When God honours those who honour him, we may and should imitate him. It struck me how often Paul does this. The apostle says that whoever wishes to lead in the congregation should pay particular attention to this with regard to others (Romans 12:10). Well, this homage is clearly visible in his letters.

It is a particular feature at the end of his letter to the Romans. Paul praises numerous brothers and sisters and describes the work they have done. Phoebe "has been a great help to many people." Priscilla and Aquila "risked their lives for me." Mary "worked very hard for you." About Andronicus and Junias, it is said that they "enjoy much respect in the circle of the apostles" (I am using J. Van Bruggen’s translation). The apostle mentions Apelles, "tested and approved in Christ"; Tryphena and Tryphosa, "who work hard in the Lord"; and that the same can be said of dear Persis too. The mother of Rufus has also been a mother to Paul.

In 1 Corinthians 16 we hear about Stephanas and his household, that "they have devoted themselves to the service of the saints,” while the congregation is admonished with regard to Stephanas, Fortunatus and Achaicus, that "such men deserve recognition."

James, Peter and John are "reputed to be pillars," supporting pillars of the church (Galatians 2:9). Paul says of Tychicus that he is a ‘dear brother and faithful servant of the Lord’ (Ephesians 6:21), and of Timothy: "but you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel" (Philippians 2:22). The apostle tells the Philippians: "Welcome him [Epaphroditus] in the Lord with great joy, and honour men like him, because he almost died for the work of Christ, risking his life to make up for the help you could not give me" (Philippians 2:30).

Paul also knows how to acknowledge the good he finds in the congregations and praises God because of it. The Corinthians expect the coming of the Lord (1 Corinthians 1:7) and support the apostle by their prayers (2 Corinthians 1:11). He thanks God for the contributions made by the Philippians in spreading the gospel (Philippians 1:3-5), and for the love for all the saints displayed by the Colossians (Colossians 1:4). He remembers before God how powerful is the love of the Thessalonians and how enduring their hope (1 Thessalonians 1:3), and in the congregations "we boast" about their perseverance and faith amidst persecutions (2 Thessalonians 1:4).

Be generous in handing out compliments←⤒🔗

I well remember the time in our circles when, at a funeral, it was "not done" to take a broader look at what that person had meant during his/her lifetime. The minister had to preach God’s Word; no "human-worship," please. Nowadays it seems as if we have flipped to the other extreme. The family takes her time to give an account of their loved one (sometimes including a Power point production) and eventually the minister is allowed to begin.

After reading the above, it is still understandable that criticism of the old practice is valid. If the Lord praises the virtues of his children, then we do not have to remain mum. The talents and gifts with which he decorated his children may be mentioned, just as the faith, the love and the perseverance. There are good works that are "seen" by others, so says the Lord (Matt. 5:16) and are obvious to others (1 Tim. 5:25). All these good things may be mentioned albeit in fitting measure.

I don’t think that all these things need to be saved till the funeral. We may and must give honour where it is due. Speak freely about someone’s input, give praise where you can. Have respect for those Christians who have earned it.

These days it is not "in" to be old. Young and agile, that is the ideal. We would rather speak of "seniors" than the "aged." But in the Bible we find very positive comments about the elderly when it comes to wisdom and life experience (think about Proverbs!). In the congregation it is particularly the elderly who know what persevering in faith is all about and who have experienced the faithfulness of God’s promises. They deserve to be honoured for this by the younger generations, for it is from these children of God that those at the beginning of the journey of faith can learn an awful lot. That which is written in Hebrews 13:7 about "your leaders" also counts for many older brothers and sisters: "Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith."

Should we imitate Paul in giving honour where it is due, then we are not guilty of "human-worship." All good, all competence, all commitment, all talents come from God (1 Corinthians 12:6). Paul impresses this upon us when he writes: "I worked harder than all other apostles — yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me" (1 Corinthians 15:10).

It is all about grace whenever honour or appreciation comes our way. This grace may be noted and mentioned. Let us then not be stingy in giving honour where it is due, in the knowledge that at the heart we are praising and glorifying him who went to heaven in order to give "gifts to men" (Ephesians 4:8)!