Around Whitsun time, many young people in our churches publicly confess their faith, ready to live for God in gratitude and love. This is an event which is of great encouragement to all. Alas, however, not all our young people come to this point. They leave the church without ever confessing their faith. Sometimes we are shocked when we hear just how many fall into this category. Some leave and confess their faith elsewhere. They choose for God but this church says so little to them. For this reason, they search elsewhere.

Does the church have a problem with its older youth? You would be inclined to think it has. Nonetheless, I do not like this conclusion, it is much too one sided. Because you can turn the reasoning around just as easily: the growing youth has a problem with the church. It can be helpful to look at it from this perspective.

Mother Church ⤒🔗

It is an illusion to think that the youth of years gone by was better. The youth then struggled with exactly the same original sin as now, and were just as far from God by nature, unless they should be born again by the Spirit. Coming to faith, was and is a great miracle! It is a gift from God.

This does not detract from the fact that the Spirit of God uses means and people in this process. The church especially is important in this. She must be the mother who brings forth the new life (Gal. 4:26). It is because of this that she is called ‘mother,’ not only to feed and nurture, no, her foremost purpose is to give birth through the declaration of the living Word of God (1 Pet 1:23).

The imagery speaks volumes. Giving birth is not something which happens just like that. An intensive time of carrying the ‘baby’ and giving it attention, cherishing and feeling at one with it, precedes this. That is the setting in which the Word is sounded, through which the Spirit calls life into being. It is a subtle ensemble of God and man, just as in a real pregnancy.

The question may well be asked if this is in anyway familiar. How is the church as mother? Is it good to be with her, warm and safe? Or is the nest cold; is it difficult to feel at home there?

The Youth has Difficulty←⤒🔗

It is true that the youth faces more difficulties than before, in many aspects. One great problem is the waterfall of information which is poured over them, day and night via the media in the form of reporting which is seldom objective. They constantly hear everything colored. This makes them uncertain – what is true and who can you trust? And their attention is spread out. There is always something else which draws them away and requires an opinion. This is very confusing, and not only that, it causes fragmentation too. Everything is supposedly open, but cohesion appears to be missing and this while the impulses are so intense.

I notice that many young people are constantly on line with each other. Do they want to keep a hold on to each other in this way? Is it an expression of the desire to be held on to?

They can talk for hours until deep in the night. And if they are not together, the NISN is switched on through which messages can come in. Usually these are about nothing in particular, but they are a sign of life, something like ‘I’m still out here’. While above all, the mobile is on for text messages, all day and night. And of course, one has to see who it is from!

The search for solidarity, indeed! That is what they invest in, that is what they live in. Nobody needs to teach it to them, it is, after all, a primary human need.

Being One of them is Exciting←⤒🔗

Alongside this, in society they are constantly set on the wrong trail. The impression is given everywhere that there is no higher aim than ‘you shall enjoy’. If you miss this boat, you count for nothing. When there is something going on, you have to be there. And you must be nice and beautiful. They must go for you.

What this means for the youth, standing in front of the mirror at home, is enormous. Of course he or she does not want to miss the boat, but who decides that? When are you one of them and when not? This is not so open and clear cut. What is clear is that you have to do something to belong and sometimes that can require too much. In this process, all sorts of personal choices are of importance. How to be in the picture?

Choose, Choose and Choose Again←⤒🔗

As far as choices are concerned, these are forced upon them from any number of commercial standpoints. Every company, every product, every taste, every trend throngs for the attention of the youth. They are the growing market; they decide the takings and the profits of large enterprises. It is impossible to charter which offers and reductions pass before their noses. In this way, they are pulled in one direction or another and no day goes by in which they do not have to choose for something.

Choosing is important, they cannot avoid it. What are you going to say, what are you going to do, what are you going to buy, what stand do you take? And that while in the world everything is so deceptive, and is only directed at quick satisfaction, which then also disappoints. If you choose, you also learn thus, to look out. Am I being cheated? Youngsters are smart, they want to see genuineness.

There is more which could be mentioned; this is altogether nothing more than a quick characterization of the intensive life led by our older youth.

This Youth in the Church←⤒🔗

Take time to sit next to these youngsters in the pew in your thoughts. And try, on the basis of their experience to make the switch to a church service. Or is that a strange question? Of course not, they too, as they draw near to God, may take their lives with them, their turbulent lives. That is where it happens after all?

What do we witness then, amongst our youth in the pew? Things which are very different in the church than throughout the week. For example, the question of how to count for much, which seems completely irrelevant in the church service. We confess that everybody belongs here. That is very touch and go in the world, in the church there is no tension on this point. Everybody can just sit down, there is nothing else required of you.

Alas, that can also lead to distance. They can just sit down, and indeed, they have to do nothing, not one single contribution (except the collection), thus not one single preparation for one part of it.

The church service carries on as a church service should be. If the youth was not there at all, would it make much difference to the order of service? To the choice of hymns? To the music? To the form? I think that many are of the firm impression that it makes no difference. I can just sit here, but I could also stay away, it makes no difference to what happens. This is not really motivating.

The extension of this is that the opinion of the youth is seldom asked because everything has already been decided. Not by them, of course not, but for them. While they make choices all week long and have to be on their toes, on Sunday they can take it easy, drop off a little. Here no choices have to be made. Yes, of course whether or not you agree with the sermon, but the whole setting for the rest is already pre-prepared.

What do you mean the youth is passive? As creative as they can be to make something of their lives for six days a week, so passive and lacking in fantasy may they be on a Sunday when they slide into the church pew in the back row. Here you need to think up nothing.

Something which is the same is how the surroundings are out to get them. The world pulls them, the church too. They are fired with pretty words all week long; in the church the real gospel can be heard. Yes, there is a battle going on for them. Only, it is a shame that that is so often positive from the world (‘come on, join in’) while in the church it is often so difficult to join in because everything has already been done.

What is left turns very quickly into what you must not do, warning and admonition. Maybe I am over-exaggerating a bit now, but the difference can be rather large. Everywhere you join in, people are usually glad of you. But if the youth wants to do something in the worship service, that gladness is hard to find. Because, is that allowed? That can lead to all sorts of discussions, rejection can result, people who stay away for that reason. And yes, this really happens!

In the church they just do not have much to do. And they are allowed to do even less. And this while we hope that they join in the covenant meeting wholeheartedly from the back seat. Does it work like that? According to me, the older youth has a problem with the church.

How can you Involve them?  ←⤒🔗

Feeling unity begins and ends with heartfelt acceptance of each other. Acceptance in God’s name – a church stands or falls on this. The youth has a keen eye for solidarity. They are almost extreme in it. They must have contact with each other, constantly, live, mobile or digital. Do they find so much contact in the church? Is this fed and (thus) sought in the worship services? Not if they are so restricted.

Recently I heard an elder saying of the youth in the church: ‘I am convinced that they even text each other during the services’, he intended to join in, and to send a message during the sermon: ‘and now listen!’

Now we are not going to generalize because ‘the’ youth does not exist. Nor are we going to become negative. I have deliberately first mentioned the positive side which is overwhelmingly present and yet we still have a real problem here. To say it in Biblical language: a youth too has been created in the image of God, which basically means that he (as young person) bears a responsibility to mirror the versatility of God. The growing youth wants to be addressed according to his own responsibility; he wants to be invited to make choices, in this way he wants to participate and to be brought into action. And that strikes me as completely justifiable. It works like that because God has planted that within us.

The world has understood this very well (in her way). In her fight for the youth she takes them completely seriously, they are addressed personally, invited and taken along in all sorts of things and that at an increasingly younger age. They have received their own rights and freedom in order to make the most of everything. That is how you win them!

Why should we in the church be slow in this? Especially when we have so much to offer our boys and girls. Especially we understand how important it is that they draw near to God. Their belonging must not become a starting point which thereafter ensures that all efforts and tension disappear. Let them move from the back row, bring them to the front, give them a task, give them the opportunity to prepare something in their own responsibility and to have an input. If we say and confess that they belong, we should search for suitable forms in which they can express that and wherein their personal involvement is stimulated.

‘Involvement’ – a key word! So important and at the same time so simple, within reach, if only you want it. Of course growing youth need to learn the way they should go and to be warned now and again. But if the message is predominantly warning and trust in them does not receive enough room, no matter what, that distance remains. Although we say they are welcome, they are in fact not accepted. This is disastrous. Because the youth is looking for solidarity, acceptance and genuineness, that is how they fill their days and this is what they seek in the church. And rightly so! Who can offer that better than a mother! And from close range I see how disappointed they can be if they are confronted with all sorts of non-transparent bans, limitations, and rejections which they cannot understand. What possesses the church then? They want to choose for God, but some have to think a year or more about the church. Some can reason it out; others feel intuitively that something is not right.

The Heart of the Church beats in the Church Services←⤒🔗

Fortunately, there is something of an awakening in progress. We can be thankful for the attention for the youth at all sorts of happenings. To name but one: the focus on the youth at the theological school day in Kampen, and more lately, the reception of youth at the general synod. These are good developments, more of this please!

But the heart of the church beats in the worship services on Sunday. It is there that the members come before God; it is there where the unity is experienced and fed. If we miss the boat there, because an entire category can come hardly any closer, the consequences are great.

Is it really true, that the orthodox churches are blindly focused on the correct proceeding of a worship service? That this has become an aim in and of itself? I refuse to believe it. Because who decides what ‘correct’ is? And how can a worship service be ‘correct’ if one of the most important aims is not met? How can a mother be ‘correct’ if she does not nurture her children so that they notice it?

We experience in these days that young people search for a warm place where they can be and join in as they are. Sometimes church services are put aside for this. And if that is (fortunately) not the case, these meetings are then a compensation for what is missed in the church. The name ‘youth church’ says much.

If I am not mistaken, it looks as though local churches have learned little from this. They look but they do not see, sometimes so afraid of the internal discussions which might happen if the worship services were to change any more. No, let the youth go there then, they are so difficult to hold on to anyway, is that not so? We also have to think of the whole congregation...

What I am trying to show is that this sort of attitude, for a great part, is turning the facts upside down. Not only the church has a problem with the young people, the young people have at the very least as much of a problem with the church and that is something which we cause and maintain ourselves. If the youth then walk away, at the very least a whole series of alarm bells should start ringing which alert whole church councils. There is something terribly wrong, something that has direct relevance to the heartbeat of the church.

And next to this, what do we have to understand by the concept ‘older youth’? Does it not reach further? Do young families also come into this category? Is it not a widely spread idea that one church service is enough? As first response, do not tackle this theologically but first look into what the real problem might be. Ask the congregation, ask the youth, ask the young families. If you ask me they are not too far gone to come twice, so why do they not come? What are they missing? Why do they not feel the heartbeat of the church so that they are encouraged and inspired? This is something we have to get clear without all sorts of judgments flying around. Talk everywhere. This is what church meetings are for and district gatherings – to talk as brothers and sisters about what the church and her meetings actually is.

Within Reach←⤒🔗

Do not go and think now, that everything will be turned upside down, because in the worship service there is much good that nobody wants to lose. The point is just: how do you get contact, personal, deep in your heart? The first answer to this is through the Word and the Spirit. They penetrate, deeper than a sword. Fortunately.

At the same time we must say: the Spirit uses people, means, church services. Do not be ashamed to hold these up against the light: are these working as they should? What can be better, what can stimulate everybody’s involvement?

What I notice is that often with small things you can achieve much, preparing a sermon or a church service together, for example. In this you often find so much unity by noticing what everyone wants to contribute in thankfulness and genuineness. Then give shape to the service so that more people can say something, read or make music. He who joins in, belongs, is that not true? In working together, more variation in music, form and word choice develop. This can help to bring the entire worship service closer to more people. The fixed elements remain in place, recognizable. And still you try together to say and experience them new every time, in the language and the world of young and old. Nobody needs to walk out on this, no youth and no older members; the joy of meeting grows there.

In all of this I am a minister. A minister does not only point out the direction, he ensures, as far as he can, that everyone follows. He does not work on his own; his aim is to make others follow his example. He strives (by definition) for the optimum effort from everybody, in the congregation, in the district, in the committees, in the work groups and also thus, in the worship service. Is it possible that we have lost that last one a little? Is this our problem? If so the solution is not so difficult, nor is it so far away. It is even within reach.