Introduction

He received a phone call at 1 a.m., requesting him to come to the hospital as soon as possible because a new kidney was awaiting him. By 4 a.m. he checked into the Milwaukee hospital, and spent the entire day undergoing tests and preparation for the kidney transplant. The next morning at 7 a.m. they came to take him into surgery. If all went well, within a few hours he would have a new kidney, he would be released from dialysis treatments, he could assume a more normal and healthy life.

But all did not go well. Shortly into the surgery the doctors discovered a problem: his body would not be able to receive the new kidney; to go on with the surgery would be life-threatening. They had to bring it to a halt, sew up the incision, and return him to his room. Sometime later, after he had awakened from the anesthesia, when he found himself back in his room, his doctor came in. “Bob,” he said, “I am sorry to inform you that we were unable to perform the transplant.”

What a disappointment! A bitter disappointment! Patiently waiting for a new kidney—waiting for months, then the long-awaited telephone call, the preparation, the anticipation, and now this: “Bob, I am sorry to inform you that we were unable to perform the transplant.”

That kind of news is enough to make you break down and cry. That is the kind of news that gives you a heavy heart. Shattered hopes and bitter disappointment, that is one acute cause of a heavy heart. Other causes may include the loss of a job, deep grief over the unexpected death of a loved one or the death of a life-long companion, the excessive weight of a demonically-incited spiritual oppression.

The popular songwriter, Neil Diamond, expressed our susceptibility to heaviness of heart in these words:

Song sung blue, everybody knows one.
Song sung blue, every garden
grows one.
Me and you are subject to the blues now and then.
Song sung blue, everybody knows one.

Our next topical study from the Book of Proverbs deals with the subject of heaviness of heart, and directs us to some remedies both for ourselves and for those to whom we must minister.

When You Have a Heavy Heart, Remember that the LORD Knows Your Plight (Prov. 15:13; 18:14; 15:15; 14:10)

A happy heart makes the face cheerful; but a sorrowful heart causes the spirit to be broken. (Prov. 15:13)

The state of your heart regulates and governs the disposition of your life. As the Old Testament commentator C.F. Keil expresses it: The condition of the heart leaves its stamp on the appearance and the activity of the man.¹

“A happy heart makes the face cheerful.” If your heart is filled with joy and peace, it brightens your whole personality and that brightness radiates from your face. “But a sorrowful heart causes the spirit to be broken.” If a weight of disappointment, grief, or spiritual oppression is laid upon your heart, it is enough to break your spirit; it is enough to cause you to be crushed by a sense of depression.

A man’s spirit will sustain him in his sickness, but who can bear a broken spirit. (Prov. 18:14)

If your spirit is sound and whole—that is to say, if your heart is filled with joy and peace—it can sustain you, even if your body is plagued with infirmity. By way of example: A man was afflicted with a painful back injury that rendered him immobile, but the LORD graciously granted a peace and joy to his heart that was more than able to sustain him.

But if your spirit itself is broken, then there are no human resources to sustain you; note Proverbs 14:13, “Even in laughter the heart may be sorrowful, and after mirth there is heaviness of heart.” Men may turn to entertainment and a good time in an effort to alleviate a broken spirit and a heavy heart, but to no avail. Even in the midst of the good time the heart is not relieved, and after the mirth an oppressive heaviness weighs down all the more upon the heart. The only recourse is for the LORD to put you on a “divine life support system” until He mends and restores your broken spirit.

All the days of the oppressed are wretched; but he who has a cheerful heart has a continual feast. (Prov. 15:15)

When a man is suffering with a broken spirit and a heavy heart, all his days, indeed, all his hours, are melancholy and bitter. His experience is like that described in Deuteronomy 28:67a, “In the morning you will say, ‘If only it were evening!’ and in the evening, ‘If only it were morning!’”

When one is subjected to such a state he finds that nothing can pull his heart out of its gloom; on the contrary, he finds that his heart tends to pull everything into its own gloom. His heavy heart swallows up the joy of the day like the seven lean cows swallowed up the seven fat cows in Pharaoh’s dream and were still as lean as ever!

The heart knows its own bitterness, and a stranger cannot share in its joy. (Prov. 14:10)

There is a personal and solitary experience of bitterness, (be it due to sorrow, grief, or spiritual oppression), the depths of which cannot adequately be communicated to others, nor comprehended or alleviated by our fellow man. But even the deepest and the darkest of those depths are known by our Lord Jesus Christ. In the messianic prophecies of Isaiah, our Lord is described in these terms:

He was despised and rejected by men; he was a man of sorrows and acquainted with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we did not hold him in esteem. ⁴Surely, he has borne our afflictions and carried our sorrows; but we regarded him as one who was stricken by God, smitten by him and afflicted [like an evildoer]. Isa. 53:3-4

In the garden of Gethsemane our Lord Jesus told His disciples, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me” (Matt. 26:38). Literally: “My soul is engulfed, or surrounded, with sorrow [lTεριXυlTοs].”

If you have a heavy heart, remember that the LORD knows your plight:

Then the LORD said, 'I have certainly seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt, and I have heard them crying out because of their taskmasters. I know their sorrows’ Ex. 3:7

You must allow the Lord Jesus to minister to you when you experience a heavy heart. Our human tendency is to struggle for a sure footing and try to climb out of the depths of the dark pit. But to do so is like a man struggling in quicksand; the more he struggles the deeper he sinks without finding solid ground. Our human tendency is to distrust our Savior and fear relinquishing control to Him, but only when we trust Him will we find Him restoring us in His way and in His time. We must heed His counsel: “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psl. 46:10a). We must follow His example: on the cross the Lord Jesus cried out, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit” (Lk. 23:46). We must take comfort from His Word:

Then the LORD said, 'I have certainly seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt, and I have heard them crying out because of their taskmasters. I know their sorrows. ⁸I have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land to a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey...' Ex. 3:7-8a

The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. Deut. 33:27a

We must allow the Lord Jesus to minister through us when we are called upon to help a friend and fellow Christian who is experiencing a heavy heart. We should be ready to provide a silent and sympathetic presence, as did Job's friends when they first encountered him in his suffering:

When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the calamity that had come upon him, they each came from their own home and, meeting together, they agreed to go to console and comfort him. ¹²When they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him. They began to wail and to weep; each one tore his robe, and they tossed dust into the air and upon their heads. ¹³So they sat with him on the ground for seven days and seven nights. No one spoke a word to him, because they saw that his grief was very great.Job 2:11-13

We should be prepared to demonstrate gentleness and kindness, as Job urged his friends to do for him: “To him who is ready to faint, kindness should be shown by his friend; or else he might forsake the fear of the Almighty” (Job 6:14).

We should be faithful to employ the ministry of prayer, as Paul is confident that the Philippian church would do on his behalf:

I know that, through your prayers and the help provided by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, the result of all this [i.e. Paul’s present trial] will be my deliverance. ²⁰This is in keeping with my heart­felt expectation and hope that in no circumstance will I be put to shame; on the contrary, I have all confidence that as always, so now also, Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. Phil. 1:19-20

Paul is confident that in response to the prayers of his Christian brethren, the LORD will supply him with the ministry of the Holy Spirit, this will result in his deliverance, with the final outcome bringing glory to Christ.

When You Have a Heavy Heart, Resort to the Remedy Prescribed by God (Prov. 15:23; 12:25; 14:30; 13:19; 13:12)

Be Well-Acquainted with the Word of God

A man has joy when he receives an answer to his question—and how good is a timely word! (Prov. 15:23)

Proverbs 15:23a literally reads, “A man has joy from the answer of his mouth;” it is referring to a situation in which a man has received an answer to the question that has come out of his mouth. The point is that when a wise, appropriate, true, biblical answer is given to a perplexing, troubling question of the soul, that answer is a cause for great joy and relief and satisfaction to the soul.

Proverbs 15:23b emphasizes the blessing of a timely, appropriate, biblical word, whether it be a word of encouragement, or comfort, or counsel, or warning, or rebuke. We must become well-acquainted with the Scriptures, so that the Holy Spirit can minister to us and use us to minister to others.

Know How to Handle Anxiety

Heaviness in a man’s heart causes it to stoop; but a good word makes it glad. (Prov. 12:25)

Proverbs 12:25a portrays a man’s heart as stooped over and staggering. One cause of such heaviness is a heart weighed down with anxiety.

In order to handle anxiety in a biblical way, we must recognize its relationship to pride: “humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, (so that he may exalt you at the appointed time), ⁷by casting all your cares upon him, because he cares for you” (1 Pet. 5:6-7). Pride arises from the delusion of being in control, accompanied by a sense of arrogant euphoria. Anxiety is the realization that one is not in control, resulting in a sense of panic or despair.

In order to handle anxiety in a biblical way, we must recognize its relationship to temptation: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear” (Matt. 6:25a). Even though the rebuke against anxiety comes to us as a command from our Lord Jesus Christ, we may be tempted to argue, “It is impossible for me not to be anxious, not to think and worry about tomorrow. It is impossible for me to live in today and not trouble myself about tomorrow.” But this is not true. The fact is, every time we yield to temptation we are choosing to forget about tomorrow and are firmly setting our heart and mind on the present. Furthermore, we are trusting God to take care of us, we are confident that He will forgive us and restore us. We need to ask the LORD to realign our minds and perspective, so that we might live in today, (as opposed to worrying about tomorrow), and to live for eternity, (as opposed to immediately gratifying our desires by sinful means).

In order to handle anxiety in a biblical way, we must recognize that we really can rely upon the LORD:

I am able to do all things by him who strengthens me. Phil. 4:13

My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:19

Be Aware of the Adverse Effects of Envy

A tranquil heart gives health to the body, but envy rots the bones. (Prov. 14:30)

Proverbs 14:30b tells us that envy is like a cancer that eats away into our very bones; i.e. it makes our life miserable while it is in the process of destroying us. Proverbs 14:30a teaches that the opposite of envy is “a tranquil heart,” such a heart ministers “health to the body.”

What are the keys to a tranquil heart?

• The first key is contentment with regard to the present:

godliness with contentment is great gain. ⁷We brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. ⁸But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.1 Tim. 6:6-8

• The second key is confidence with regard to the future:

the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision, saying, Fear not, Abram, I am your shield, and your reward shall be exceedingly great. Gen. 15:1

See A Task Through to Its Completion

An accomplished desire is sweet to the soul... (Prov. 13:19a)

When you stay with a given task and see it through to its completion, there is a sweet sense of satisfaction, which is itself a great reward. It is a sense of accomplishment that enhances your dignity and self-respect because you are living up to the image of God: imitating God in undertaking and completing a task. When God undertook His great work of creation, He saw it through to completion:

³¹And God saw everything that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day. ^2:1And the heavens and the earth were finished, and all that they contained. ²And on the seventh day, God finished his work that he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had made. Gen. 1:31-2:2

Likewise, the LORD will bring to a completion His work of redemption: “Of this I am sure, [namely], that he who began a good work in you will carry it out to completion until the day of Jesus Christ” (Phil. 1:6).

Have a Long-Range Perspective on God’s Promises and Confidence in Them

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire is fulfilled it is a tree of life. (Prov. 13:12)

We want the immediate fulfillment of God’s promises, the full blessing of heaven on earth: fullness of health, tranquility of mind, absence of conflict, abundance of blessing. But when the fulfillment of those promises is deferred, (i.e. their fulfillment withheld to be fulfilled at a future date), we may become discouraged or even depressed.

Proverbs 13:12b assures us that the godly desires we entertain, (those desires that are promised to us by God), will come, and when such a desire finally arrives, it will be “a tree of life,” (i.e. it will be a taste of Paradise).

Consider the word of the LORD to the prophet Habakkuk: “The revelation is for the appointed time, and it speeds toward the end and shall not lie; though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not delay” (Hab. 2:3). The point is that God’s promises will surely be fulfilled in their appointed time, not prematurely; therefore, we can and must await them with complete confidence. By way of illustration: We tend to view God’s promises as though they were an “express train,” and we become impatient because they have not yet arrived at the station; when in fact, God’s promises are like the “local commuter train” that makes its many appointed stops, but is right on time, operating according to the LORD’s divine timetable, not our own timetable.

Conclusion

If, or when, you have a heavy heart, remember that the LORD knows your plight:

The LORD said, 'I have certainly seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt, and I have heard them crying out because of their taskmasters. I know their sorrows.' Ex. 3:7

If, or when, you have a heavy heart, realize that relief may be found in one of the remedies the LORD offers us: 1) a timely word from Scripture; 2) a biblical perspective on anxiety; 3) an awareness of the adverse effects of envy; 4) the completion of a task set before you; and, 5) a long-range perspective on God’s promises and complete confidence in them.

Discussion Questions

1. How does the condition of your heart affect your disposition? See Prov. 15:13 When your heart is at peace, how does it affect your demeanor? As a Christian, what measures can you take to promote a “happy” heart that is at peace with God? See Psl. 32:3-5; 2 Pet. 3:14b; Jas. 5:16a; Eph. 4:31,

A happy heart makes the face cheerful; but a sorrowful heart causes the spirit to be broken.Prov. 15:13

When I kept silent my bones grew old through my groaning all the day long; ⁴for day and night your hand was heavy upon me... ⁵I acknowledged my sin to you, and my iniquity I have not hidden. I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,' and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Psl. 32:3-5

Therefore, beloved, since you are watching for these things, make every effort to be pure and blameless, so as to be found at peace with him. 2 Pet. 3:14

Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another... Jas. 5:16

Get rid of all bitterness and rage and anger and clamor and slander, along with all malice. ³²Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other just as God by Christ forgave you. Eph. 4:31

2. Is it possible to “be happy” when your heart is troubled? Note, again, Prov. 15:13b; see, also, Prov. 18:14 What does Proverbs 14:10a tell us about the solitary experience of a troubled, burdened heart? Besides prayer, what can we do for a Christian brother or sister who is experiencing such a condition? Note Job 2:11,13 What can you do if/when you find yourself in such a state? See Psl. 62:8 As a Christian, what do you need to remember? See Ex. 3:7-8a and 1 Pet. 5:10,

A happy heart makes the face cheerful; but a sorrowful heart causes the spirit to be broken. Prov. 15:13

A man’s spirit will sustain him in his sickness, but who can bear a broken spirit. Prov. 18:14

The heart knows its own bitterness, and a stranger cannot share in its joy. Prov. 14:10

When Job’s three friends...heard about all the calamity that had come upon him, they each came from their own home and, meeting together, they agreed to go to console and comfort him... ¹³So they sat with him on the ground for seven days and seven nights. No one spoke a word to him, because they saw that his grief was very great. Job 2:11,13

Trust in him at all times...pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Psl. 62:8

Then the LORD said, I have certainly seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt, and I have heard them crying out because of their taskmasters. I know their sorrows. ⁸I have come down to deliver them... Ex. 3:7-8

But after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will personally restore you, support you, strengthen you, and establish you. 1 Pet. 5:10

3. As a Christian, what are some of the promises of God that can serve to sustain you during the ordeal of experiencing a heavy heart? See Heb. 13:5b; Jn. 6:37, 40,

He himself has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.' Heb. 13:5b

All whom the Father gives me will come to me; and he who comes to me I will by no means reject... ⁴⁰My Father’s will is that everyone who beholds the Son and believes in him should have eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day. Jn. 6:37, 40

4. In addition to a heavy heart, we also may experience a heart weighed down with anxiety. What counsel do we receive from the Apostle Peter? See 1 Pet. 5:6-7 What connection is there between pride and anxiety? When and why did Peter experience anxiety? See Matt. 14:29b-30a Pride is the delusion of being self-sufficient and being in control, anxiety stems from the awareness that our situation is beyond our control (note, again, Matt. 14:29-30a). How are we to humble ourselves before God, and why are we to do so with confidence? See 1 Pet. 5:6a, 7,

Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, (so that he may exalt you at the appointed time), ⁷by casting all your cares upon him, because he cares for you. 1 Pet. 5:6-7

...when Peter had come out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. ³⁰But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid... Matt. 14:29-30a

5. To what does Proverbs contrast “a tranquil heart”? See Prov. 14:30 What are some keys to promoting a tranquil heart? As a Christian, with regard to the present, are you cultivating a life of contentment? See 1 Tim. 6:6-8 With regard to the future, are you resting in the sure confidence the LORD has given you? See Gen. 15:1,

A tranquil heart gives health to the body, but envy rots the bones. Prov. 14:30

...godliness with contentment is great gain. ⁷We brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. ⁸But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 1 Tim. 6:6-8

...the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision, saying, 'Fear not, Abram, I am your shield, and your reward shall be exceedingly great.'Gen. 15:1