LITURGY⤒🔗

Singing:
      Hy. 41:1,2
     Ps. 92:1,6
     Ps. 102:8,11
    Ps. 78:2,3
    Hy. 52:1,3

Reading:
       Proverbs 4

Beloved brothers and sisters in the Lord Jesus Christ,

The establishment of schools for the education of covenant children has become commonplace. But do we need such institutions? It takes a high level of commitment and support from all involved to keep a Reformed school going and it can be financially taxing. Individuals who are not familiar with the basis and principles of Reformed education often question the validity of such an undertaking. Why spend so much money on your own school? A Christian school is looked upon to be an institution which simply adds Bible and Church History to a curriculum that in every other respect is identical to that of the public school system.

However, in a Reformed school every subject is introduced and taught from the perspective that the fear of the Lord is the beginning and the foundation of all knowledge and wisdom. In every subject the children must learn to praise and confess the glory and greatness of God, as he has revealed himself in his Word. The doctrine of Holy Scripture, as summarized in the confessions, is the basis for the operation of a school for the youth of the covenant.

What the children receive in school is to be part of their training in godliness. How parents instruct their children and what kind of education they allow them to receive is not a matter of indifference. As church we are the light of the world. We are called to sanctification and regeneration. People have to see that we are different: being in the world but not of the world. That has to show in everything we do; also in how seriously we take the command of the Lord to train a child in the way he should go.

Proverbs 22:6 tells us that it is the primary task of parents to nurture their children in the way they should go. The Lord gives fathers and mothers the opportunity to train children: to love and guide them and to build in them the values which prepare them for service to God and their neighbour. Training a child in the way he should go means parents have the duty to instruct and to have him/her instructed in the doctrine of salvation. Let us study the meaning of this proverb. Our theme is as follows:

God's Instruction Concerning the Proper Training of Covenant Children in the Contest of Faith.←↰⤒🔗

We Are Informed About←↰⤒🔗

1. The Rules
2. The Players
3. The Goal

Holy Scripture contains many verses exhorting parents to teach the covenant ways of the Lord to their children. For example, in Genesis 18:19 the Lord says to Abraham, “I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just”. In the well-known passage of Deuteronomy 6:6-8 parents are commanded to teach the will of the Lord to their children. “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

The book of Proverbs contains no less than forty verses on the parental responsibility to train children. The major theme of the book, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline" is immediately followed by "Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching."

In our text, the Holy Spirit instructs covenant parents to "train a child in the way he should go". Covenantal education is training. The word "training" places us in the world of sports. You know that when you are on a team such as baseball, soccer or hockey you have to learn the rules from someone who knows more about the sport than you. Put someone on a hockey team who has no clue how to play the game and in all likelihood he will do everything wrong: shoot the puck into the wrong net, miss opportunities to score, get penalized for holding or tripping. The referee and linesmen will get very frustrated with him. Why? The player does not know the rules.

That is why training and practicing are so essential. You need to learn the rules and to hone your skills in playing the game. Practice develops skills and makes an athlete competitive in his sport. Parents must train their children so that they learn the rules of the kingdom. Place children out in the world without proper training and they will do everything wrong.

Training isn't always the most fun. In the process, certain things will be demanded of you that at the time seem meaningless. You will have to do exercises and activities that don't seem to have a whole lot to do with the game. But what are you to do? Throw up your arms, say "Forget it!" and hang up your skates? No, you acknowledge that the trainer knows more about the game than you and that hours of practice are for your benefit as a player.

Training is also done in preparation for war. A good soldier is trained for battle. Thus parents are comparable to the trainers of a team or an army. Parents must teach their children the rules and how the match is to be won. They cannot train haphazardly or without rhyme or reason but they must follow a system. Otherwise it is no longer training. Neither can parents wait until a later date to start training, because children are born into the contest and battle: the contest between the offspring of the woman and the offspring of the serpent. Through a thorough training, children must learn to develop their own distinct lifestyle in a wicked and secular culture – a lifestyle that determines how they plan their daily agenda and how they divide their time.

Well, what are the rules that parents have to follow in training their children? Nobody needs to teach a child to disobey because that is his natural tendency, having been conceived and born in sin. He must be initiated and introduced to the ways of God.

This observation brings us to another shade of meaning of the verb "to train". Other passages render this Hebrew verb with "to inaugurate" or "to introduce". Parents who train start a child in the right direction. A child is not allowed to follow the path his sinful heart would take him, but he is to be set on the path of righteousness and holiness. Parents teach him what he has to know in order to function effectively in life. Such an introduction includes the first steps and ABCs in fearing the Lord, learning to distinguish right from wrong, developing a sense of respect for God and other people, cultivating manners, etc. Above all else, children are introduced to the mystery and majesty of God's ways. Old Testament believers introduced their children to the Word of the law and the prophets and how they both spoke of the coming of God's redemption in the Messiah. They acquainted their offspring with the faithfulness of God who delivered them from the bondage of Egypt. They trained them concerning the significance of the ceremonies of the tabernacle and temple. They taught the children concerning the division which separates the church from the world, and how it is totally a matter of the Lord's grace to be a member of the church.

Parents today continue training, but with updated rules. The battle today is against the world and the false church, against secularism and false religion. And our Lord Jesus Christ, who is the fulfilment of the law and the prophets, explains how the contest will be won. We must be on his team to be victorious. Were not the right man on our side our striving would be losing. He must win the battle for us (Hymn 41 of the Book of Praise). We win when we stick to the rules of the covenant and of the church – living by scripture alone, by faith alone, through Christ alone, to the glory of God alone. All the children of the church must be taught to play by these rules.

Training is demanding and it starts when children are very young. Parents will have to dedicate a great deal of time and energy to the task assigned to them. That too is hinted at in the verb "to train". To set apart a child for the purpose of educating him in the way he should go, requires a great deal of dedication from all involved.

Sometimes we may not really feel up to the task, and yet it has to be done. We cannot really say we are training our children if we never have the time of day for them; if meeting deadlines and our own schedules is more important than spending time with them. We may be busy, but let's be inventive and find ways to fulfil our primary task. It's so easy to put our children on hold, "Not now, son. I'm just too busy. Once I have this project cleared out of the way, then I will have all sorts of time to help you." For some children "then" never comes, or it comes too late.

Parents as trainers are to be up-to-date. Our children are not living in the second or sixteenth century. We train in today's world, dealing with today's problems and today's challenges. It's essential to know what is going on in the church and the world so we can relate that to the contest between the offspring of the woman and the offspring of the serpent. We have to know our own position in that battle; who are our enemies and who are our friends.

Let it be clear that when the Bible exhorts parents to train their children, it is not saying they have to do all the instruction themselves. There is a difference between the task of a parent and a teacher. Training a child in the way that he should go does not imply a parent has to instruct a child in math, science, geography, drafting, etc. and that if they don't, they are failing to do what God has asked of them. In the Old Testament a variety of individuals taught children outside the home. The Levites, priests, prophets and wise men were called to educate them. After the return of the exiles, schools were instituted in many towns that were directly connected to the synagogue. Nevertheless, parents remain the primary trainers in the contest of faith. They must make sure that whatever is taught, either formally or informally, is in harmony with the Word of God and the confessions of the church. Beloved, how much do we, as parents, monitor the education our children receive through television shows, DVD’s, computer programs, books, and magazines? Are we alert and attentive in church so that afterwards we can talk about the sermons and use them as a vital tool in training children of all ages in the way they should go? Will we make an effort to find out what our children are taught at school or in catechism classes? Training a child in the way he/she should go also involves why we send our children to a particular school. It may happen that children have to attend a secular institution or an interdenominational school; but that should not be by choice, but because there is no alternative; no better way to have the soldiers for God's army equipped for battle.

A great deal of training is done by our example. Parents cannot be casual or neutral about their responsibility. Children watch everything we do and listen to every word we say, whether right or wrong. More important, they watch us acting out our faith in the nitty-gritty of life. The environment they grow up in should sparkle and glitter with the gospel of salvation. Our homes must be training centres where the love of Christ controls Dad, Mom and children. Demonstrating and practicing our faith in our daily worship of God and in our relation with others is the best training we can give. Parents build relationships by being truthful, consistent and genuine. If we are very critical of the things that happen in the church then we shouldn't be surprised if our children turn out that way too. That is not training them in the way they should go.

Moreover, boys should be taught by their fathers and girls by their mothers what it means to be a Christian husband and wife. If you have boys, get them to pitch in with the household tasks so that they do not get the impression that washing dishes or clothes, or cleaning up, is simply a woman's job. Teach them through example not to be selfish but to seek the good of others within the family first, but also within the church; to deny oneself rather than going one's own way; to do something for someone else without getting something in return. For all those "little" things, added up together, serve the eternal well-being of a child. We come to the second aspect of our text:

2. This proverb has another side to it: the recipients of the training, who are "the players". Those who train must realize that each child cannot be treated in the same manner. A coach takes into account that one player has different talents than another. We are to train up a child not only in the way that every covenant child should go, but also in the specific way in which he should go.

All parents and teachers have to accept the fact that each of their children/students is different. Thus it is important to ask not only, "Am I doing right?" but also, "Am I doing right for this particular child? Am I helping this boy or this girl in the way he/she should go?"

Beloved, as you train a child you take into consideration various factors such as comprehension, age and character. You do not treat a four-year old on the same level as a twelve-year old. A strong-willed child is dealt with differently than one who is laid-back and complacent; though the same rules apply. This is why we should be very careful in judging the way other parents handle their children. They may have a very specific reason for their action. Children in the same family shouldn't be quick to complain, "It's not fair. Why should I always have to do this and she doesn't? Why don't you let me do what you allow him to do?"

A trainer will emphasize something with a goalie which he may not bother talking about to a forward. The coach reckons with the position each player takes on the field. We too must take that approach. Training up a child in the way that he or she should go does not imply that good Christian boys will become ministers or missionaries and good Christian girls will study to be a teacher. Every playing position is important as long as we use our talents to the fullest and act to the honour and glory of God.

The trainers must make the players aware that they are not the only ones on the team. They play together. In the same way our children are taught how they should live with God and how they should interact with others in the communion of the church. Thereby they learn to follow the commandment of love taught by our Saviour. Beloved, we as parents shall encourage our children to seek out friends and establish bonds and relationships with other boys and girls who share the same faith and goals. Those whom you see sitting with you in church are on the team and are the recruits of the Lord of hosts.

The children we are called to train are no different from other members of the congregation. They are conceived and born in sin. Both the trainers and the players in God's army are bound to make many mistakes. There will be times when we will feel like a failure. But let us remember that we are not called to raise model children but covenant children; children who look nowhere else but to Christ, who find their comfort and strength in his saving love and mercy. To do it right is a massive task, but do not get discouraged. The Lord does not exhort us to raise our children by our own power and resources but through the power and grace of the Holy Spirit. The grace of God to which we direct our children is also the power which lets us train them. Beloved, keep your children in training for the sake of Christ. For he uses this process to gather his church. He wants players in his congregation who perform according to the rules and continue in the contest until the final goal is scored, namely, to be in the number of those who in the Lamb are victorious. That's our last point:

3. The text concludes: "and when he is old he will not turn from it". These words cause some difficulty. Does this mean we can say that parents whose children have turned their back to the Lord have failed? What about families where all the children travel the road they should go except one? That can cause much sorrow and arouse feelings of guilt. There are those who say "If the parents are not to blame, who is? Society? God?" Others try to soften the message of this text by saying, "it means that after years of sin the child will return to the Lord. If you train the child right he will eventually turn out all right. Maybe it will not be until you're in the grave, but ultimately he will get there.

Brothers and sisters, what we have in our text is not so much a promise as a goal. What the NIV and other versions read is not the only possible translation. You can also render our text this way: "Train a child in the way he should go (so that) also when he is grown up he may not depart from it."

The goal of training – of all education – is to have children continue in the ways of the Lord. This is a great responsibility for parents. If children stray from the Lord because we have been sloppy or inconsistent, if children see us as lukewarm toward the service of the Lord, then God will hold us accountable. How will the children know the Lord if we fail to train them or to have them instructed to the utmost of our power?

Yet, parents who have taught their children do not have to be troubled with guilt when children turn away and reject the Lord. The Lord will bless obedience, if not today, then in the life to come. Ultimately we have to give our children to the Lord. We train but we cannot give children salvation. The training will testify against those who reject it. Brothers and sisters, don't brag about your children even if they are on the right path, and don't live with guilt if a child goes the wrong way. God does not ask that we instill faith in our children but that we faithfully fulfil our duty. Train the children with this goal: that they take their stand in the midst of the people of Christ in whom we are victorious, by whose grace we may lift up the cup of salvation, and win, like him the crown of life.

Congregation, may we as members of Christ's body help each other in this task of training by being a hand and a foot to one another. Then we can stand united as people of the Lord, having one goal in mind: doing what the Lord requires of us in all our walk of life. Amen.