Once, when the session I was serving in was being visited by representatives of a neighbouring session, the visiting minister, who came from a background where regular home visits were not practised, presented his impression of home visits more or less as follows:

There was an unpleasant atmosphere in the family that evening. Mum and Dad were tense and preoccupied. The evening meal was rushed, and cleaning up done as quickly as possible. The children were then told that the elders were coming that evening, so they were given precise instructions about how to behave: sit still, speak only when spoken to, when asked a question answer politely and positively, but as briefly as possible.

The elders arrived exactly at the arranged time and after some preliminary talk asked some questions of the children, which were answered as directed. The children were then dismissed and it was the turn of the parents: yes, they were happy in the church; yes, they liked the minister and thought he preached well; yes, they did pray and read the Bible every day.

When the elders judged that sufficient time had been spent, one of them read a Bible passage and prayed for the family, after which they departed. The couple heaved a sigh of relief that no major problems had surfaced and that it was now behind them again for another year.

A Caricature⤒🔗

The elder who was asked to respond to this stated flatly that what had been presented was nothing but a caricature of a home visit, and it was. Home visits are generally much more meaningful than that. Yet, home visitation has been an accepted practice in our churches for so long that some members may have only a vague idea of what it should involve, and even less of what its purpose is. If we start by considering the latter, some indication of how to go about it may well follow. So, if I ask you, the reader, why you think home visits are done, which of the following options would you choose?

• To show the members that the session is interested in them
   
• To find out what members think about the preaching
   
• To hear if the members have any complaints about the way the church is organised
   
• To encourage members’ involvement in church activities
   
• To encourage financial support of the church
   
• The church order requires it
   
• It’s a reformed tradition
   
• All of the above

The Spiritual Pulse←⤒🔗

Some of the listed subjects may well, and probably will, be raised at home visits, but I would not consider any of them to be their purpose. Article 23 of the church order requires that elders visit the members of the congregation at least annually in order that they may comfort, instruct and encourage each one according to need. So, before visiting elders can do any counseling they must first of all try to assess the spiritual life and health of the members they are visiting. That may range from a constant awareness of the love and grace of the Lord and a genuine desire to live in thankfulness to Him, to the other extreme of where people’s convictions are evident only in a more or less mechanical adherence to a Christian lifestyle. When home visits are reported back to the council of elders of a church, they help to form a composite picture of the spiritual life and health of the congregation as a whole. Thus, home visits can be roughly compared to representatives of a commercial enterprise, who go out to meet their contacts and then report back to the management.

Keep to the Point←⤒🔗

Elders on home visits, intent on having a meaningful discussion about the spiritual life of the members, may be faced with a series of obstacles. The most common one is that many people, although church members in good standing, have difficulty expressing what they believe, so they try to steer away from a discussion of it. One of the early ministers of the denomination used to say that as soon as you start to discuss spiritual matters, the lady is sure to ask, “Would the minister like another cup of coffee?” Another obstacle is often, ironically, the church itself. Many members are involved in the organisation of the church in some capacity or other and like to discuss that involvement, much as other people like to talk about their membership of a sports or hobby organisation. Many an elder has returned from a home visit satisfied with the animated discussion about the church organisation that has taken place, whereas the spiritual life of the members has barely, if at all, been touched.

Coming Prepared←⤒🔗

Conducting a home visit is a daunting task, but it will become easier if the visiting elder is well prepared. As stated in an earlier article, an elder should make it his business to know all there is to know about the members in his care. Then, based on that knowledge, he should take time to prayerfully and carefully consider the visit he is to conduct, select an appropri­ate bible passage on which to base the dis­cussion and form a basic plan for leading it. Conducting a home visit discussion aimed at getting people to talk about what they believe and what their beliefs mean to them requires tact, sensitivity and good listening skills.

The more relaxed the atmosphere, the better the discussion will be, so it may well be easier if the visit is done by one elder rather than by two, as is the practice in some churches. If practical examples are needed, try to think of biblical ones and quote them. An elder should avoid talking about his personal experiences. Chances are that they will not be as significant or relevant in the ears of his listeners as in his own memory. He should, however, not hesitate to state his own convictions and, of course, if he cannot talk freely and easily about what he believes, than he cannot expect the people he is visiting to do so either.