Brothers and sisters, are you weary today? Many of us are wearied by stress, by doubts, by huge decisions, by physical and emotional trials. The first audience of the book of Hebrews was weary. They were in danger, says verse 3, of becoming weary and discouraged in their souls, of giving up their only comfort in life and death. They had misunderstood the meaning of Christian suffering. They were apparently starting to resent God. They questioned if God was good at all, or if He is good, then He cannot be all-powerful, since all these bad things were happening. The lesson to be learned, though, is that God's discipline is not an act of hate, but love. That certainly goes against our culture and the best psychology theories out there. Discipline and love can't go hand in hand, we are told.

Nonetheless, it is God's Word that stands forever, not some psychological textbook. God's Word says that we need the painful love of God. The sufferings He sends come not from hate, but from love. They do not express God's condemnation, but His consecration. God's love hurts. It does not 'hurt' because there's something wrong with His love. There is something wrong with us — our sin. God must root out our sin, and that is painful for our old nature to take. It is challenging for our redeemed nature to handle, too. If our Savior already suffered, why do we also suffer in this life? The answer is that we need the painful love of God.

Love is From the Father⤒🔗

First, we see that this love is from a Father. Verse 5 begins, "you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons." To prove his point, the author of Hebrews preaches a little sermon on Proverbs 3:11-12. These ancient proverbs still speak, and they address us as 'sons.' God is bound to His people as sons and daughters. He is in covenant with us, and must correct us when we go astray. He will not let us fall away. Even when our hearts get offended because we are told to repent from sin, we must learn to see that it is God speaking. He says, "I love you. I don't want you living in sin and misery. I call you back to the way of life." The reason we persevere to the end is not because of our strength to be faithful, but because of God's strength to hold us in His hand. The pain of dealing with our sin are tokens of the Father's love, for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? (verse 7)

Verse 8 is even so bold as to say that if we are not disciplined, we are not sons of the living God. Think of it this way. God Himself keeps all of His commands to earthly fathers in how to discipline our children. We are told in Proverbs 19:18, "Chasten your son while there is hope, And do not set your heart on his destruction." When parents choose to let things go and not discipline their children because it might 'hurt their little feelings,' then that is not love. By believing the lies of the world, their "hearts are set on their destruction." How terrible!

God says love will discipline. Proverbs 13:24 says, "He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly." If you were exempted from God's discipline, then you would not be better off. In fact, you would not belong to Him at all. You would be 'illegitimate.' (verse 8) Those who reject the call of the gospel – a gospel which leaves them feeling guilty and shows them they need to change their lives, to trust in Jesus alone for salvation – then even if you have professed your faith in front of the congregation at some point, you are not God's child. You are illegitimate, for you are rejecting the discipline of God.

What does this discipline look like today? God disciplines in many ways throughout our lifetime. Certainly every week God disciplines the congregation through the preaching of His Word. We are told what to believe, what not to believe, how to live, and how not to live. God also uses persecution. The persecution we experience is being unpopular and lonely in the world, even in families and at work. We are called intolerant by claiming that Jesus is the only Way. If our congregations shrivel up in size as a result of us continuing steadfastly in God's service, will we give up the fight? Is there a level of pain we are not willing to take, so we throw in the towel and give up on Jesus? Just a few compromises of our faith and practice would make it easier financially, socially, and emotionally. We'd have more warm bodies in the pews. Just as our parents didn't always discipline us as we preferred, neither does God always discipline us as we would choose. God even uses His providence to discipline. He is in control of everything from the weather to Wall Street. God is at work in the painful realities of life to correct us in our thinking and our living for Him.

This is encouraging. Who has not cried out in desperation to God at some point in their life "Why me? Why now? Why this?" God's answer is "The Lord disciplines those whom He loves." We are no longer rebels and outcasts. We are sons! We're in the family of God. Though tears may be running down our faces amid tragedy, we do not look up to a tyrant in the sky, but to our Father. We can trust in His love.

Love Calls Us to Respond←⤒🔗

We learn, secondly, that this love calls us to respond. Hebrews 12:9, "Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live?" For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness.

God's discipline must work in us the response of humble trust and submission to the Father. The proper response is crucial. If we despise the chastening of the Lord, then what? Proverbs 15:10, "...he who hates correction will die." We may not 'make light' of God's discipline. That is to just take it all in stride, unaffected, not viewing it as from the hand of God, designed specifically for us. We must take seriously the ways God is correcting us. When we accept good as well as trouble from God (Job 2:10), then we are not discouraged. For we know that we have a loving Father.

The text compares the Divine Father and earthly fathers. Now we must be reminded that the Bible is speaking of a godly father, not an abusive one. The godly father is what we expect to find in Christian homes. That is the father whom we respect, especially for the times he said 'No.' Inevitably, there was some danger that He saw which we were too blinded by emotion or rebellion to see. If we submitted to and respected our fathers on earth, how much more should we submit to the greatest Father, the One Who has become our father through His eternal Son's cross and resurrection?

We also respond to the Father with submission because God's discipline looks farther down the road than our earthly fathers ever did. They discipline with a limited perspective. They want their kids to be respected in society, to get a job because they have self-discipline, are trustworthy, etc. The Heavenly Father disciplines so that His children will be holy, and partake of His own immeasurable holiness — forever. Our earthly fathers disciplined us for only a few years of our total lifespan, and they stopped. Yet God disciplines us throughout our lives. In a very real sense then, when you grow up and leave home you may be out of your father's house, but you are never out of the Father's house!  Everyone of us, including the preacher, are still in catechism class today! Our training in God's ways never ends if we are true, legitimate sons of God.

We respond to the Father with submission because His discipline is according to His perfect plan to work all things together for our good. Earthly fathers discipline as it seems best to them. They try their hardest, but parenting is a constant learning process, as every parent can testify. Many times the discipline handed out was done inconsistently, or in anger, or without proper explanation and Biblical training attached to it.

The next time you think of complaining about the burden you're bearing, the trials you're suffering, the persecution you're facing for being a Christian and taking a stand, the ridicule you face just by living a holy life and having people call you stuck-up and arrogant. In all these situations and hundreds more, remember this: I only partake in God's holiness through the discipline and painful love that He is sending me right now. The way to glory is the way of the cross. This was the way our Savior trod, shall we not tread it still?

Our Reformed forefathers are good examples of this. The author of one of our creeds, the Belgic Confession, was Guido de Bres. He was executed in 1567 for his faith. Just before being brought to the gallows, he wrote a letter to his wife. In that letter he said to God, "Now the time has come that I must leave this life and be with You. Your will be done. I cannot escape from Your hands. Even if I could, I would not do it, for it is my joy to conform to Your will." That is the response God calls us to in our text: joyful submission to the Father's disciplining love.

The Father's Love Hurts and Heals←⤒🔗

Lastly, we learn that the Father's love hurts, then heals. Hebrews 12:11,

Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Scripture doesn't sugar­coat life. It is real. God calls His children to be realists. God's love can hurt. It is painful, at the time. We shed real tears at a funeral when a loved one is torn away from us. In fact, it is godly to shed tears on such occasions (Ecclesiastes 7:2-4). Yet "afterward" God promises healing and refreshing peace.

God's discipline is a normal expression of His love. But remember just that. It expresses His love, not His hate. We must walk by faith, not sight. We walk by faith, not by feelings. It is not always fun being a disciple of Jesus, but it is always fruitful. God's loving discipline molds us. What use has a wild horse? Tame it, and you can ride it. What good is a mighty river? Dam it up, and you can harness its energy to produce electricity. So too our lives must be disciplined to be of service in God's Kingdom.

God's love hurts, but then it heals by bringing a peaceful result. It takes true faith to believe this, doesn't it? It is hard to accept that God's love can hurt. If you do not want to be trained in the school of the Savior, then listen to the training of the school of the Devil. His students have "eyes full of adultery and that cannot cease from sin, enticing unstable souls. They have a heart trained in covetous practices, and are accursed children." (2 Peter 2:14) They are not sons of our Father.

The teaching of Hebrews 12 is not new. After describing some of the most painful experiences a Christian can endure, Paul describes them all as a "light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory." (2 Corinthians 4:17) "Rejoice when you see trials coming. For God's Spirit is in you, preparing to work great fruit in your life." (See Galatians 5:22-23; Romans 5:3-5)

Despite the view of the most brilliant atheist, the existence of pain and suffering in the world does not disprove God's existence. In fact, it demonstrates the power of the one true God, Who overcomes evil with good. He can work through the evil persecutions of our enemies, and in those same actions which they mean for evil, He means them for good in us. Though they be painful at the moment, He sends them in love to produce a greater maturity in us.

Christ's own experience is a parable of this text. God's love hurt Christ, then healed. He endured wrath and punishment for sin. He was forsaken. And then He was raised in glory on the third day. Of course, there are some differences. The discipline that we suffer from God is nowhere near as severe as the sufferings Christ endured. And He endured them to atone for our sin, while our sufferings do not earn forgiveness in any way. Yet if Christ could endure such sufferings and be forsaken by His Father, and still receive the reward of eternal life, our endurance is guaranteed. For though God's love does hurt at times, we are never forsaken. He forsook Jesus in our place. We are never judged for sin, but He was. We are simply pruned so that we can bear more fruit. We are shaped and reshaped as clay in the Master Potter's hands. What a blessing we have in such a wonderful Savior and in the perfect example of a Son enduring the loving discipline of the Father!

We look,

 unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.Hebrews 12:2

Our sufferings hold the promise of joy, afterward. Do not be discouraged. Do not rebel against the burdens in your life. Remember that God is the only God. He has sent these to you, in love and compassion. We need this painful love. It proves we are His children. It calls us to respond with childlike trust in Him. Though it may hurt for a season, it will heal for eternity, bringing the peaceable fruit of righteousness for all who are trained by it. The old hymn says it well:

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take; the clouds ye so much dread
are big with mercy and shall break in blessings on your head.
Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, but trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence He hides a smiling face.
His purposes will ripen fast, unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste, but sweet will be the flow'r.God Moves in a Mysterious Way