God has created us to have relationships. We have broth­ers and sisters, parents, a husband or wife, and we have friends. Friends are a great blessing. They can be the peo­ple we just hang around with, with whom we talk heart to heart, or the ones who are there when we need them. We also know that our friends can influence us and we can influence them.

In Proverbs 22:24-25 we read, "Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul." The people we associate with will affect us. If we are friends with those who are constantly ridiculing authority, for example, we will find ourselves question­ing our parents or others. If our friends are gossipers, we will soon find ourselves sharing "news" as well. The oppo­site is also true. When our friends speak about spiritual matters, we too will be more open about these things. Who are your friends? Sometimes we need to step back and lay our lives before God and take inventory, and one area which certainly needs checking is our friendships. James asks us a very important question in this regard: "know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God?" (James 4:4). We pick up the "ways" of our friends: their speech, their dress, their habits, likes and dis­likes. Paul says, "Evil communications corrupt good man­ners" (1 Cor. 15:33). Someone once said, "Show me who your friends are and I will show you who you are!" This is why it is so important that we seek godly friends. Indeed, we are to be friendly to everyone, but when it comes to pouring out our hearts and seeking advice, what better friend could we have than someone who will point us to the Word of God and pray for and with us?

Here are several indicators of a good friend, not only to guide us in looking at our friendships but also to exam­ine ourselves in how we act toward our friends.

1. Love — Love is an essential ingredient of any friend­ship. Love is self-denying; it is giving, not getting. Is true love expressed in your relationships?
    
2. Loyalty — A friend is loyal and will stand by your side in whatever situation you find yourself. A friend is someone you can always count on.
    
3. Faith and trust — We and our friends must be trust­worthy, but we ought to also be one in the faith. We are not to be unequally yoked to an unbeliever, which means we should not be tied to them in friendship. This does not mean we are not friendly, but it means we cannot have them as a close, intimate friend. This does not mean that just because someone comes from the same church as you do, they then automatically fall into this category. There can be young people who are members of the church, but with whom it would not be right to have a close friendship.
    
4. Accountability — One of the wonderful things about friendship is that we hold one another accountable. This means that we give to our friend the right to voluntarily question us, to correct us, to hold us responsible for our conduct. Maybe you have a struggle with a certain sin; tell your closest friend so that they can hold you account­able. "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed" (James 5:16).
    
5. Good counsel — "Open rebuke is better than secret love ... Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful ... Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel" (Prov. 27:5, 6, 9). We need to have friends who are not afraid of speaking about matters that are at times painful and yet profitable to be discussed and cor­rected in our lives. Sometimes we need to be told the truth about ourselves, even when it hurts, but a true friend will do this in love because they know you trust them.
    
6. Consistency — A true friend loves at all times. There is often a testing of friendships, which, when they are true, strengthens the friendship.
    
7. Comfort — A true friend is available when you suf­fer trial or pain. They encourage us and keep our heads above water, as Hopeful did for Christian in Pilgrim's Progress.
    
8. Listener —True friends listen before they speak. They want to enter into your world and be with you where you are, and feel your feelings and concerns.
    
9. Protector — True friends look out for our welfare ­they may even cover a sin and overlook a fault. This is not because they do not dare speak to us about it, but they cover it over rather than broadcast it around. They do not allow others to speak evil of us. "A whisperer separateth chief friends" (Prov. 16:28).
    
10. Seeks spiritual welfare — Genuine friends have our spiritual good in mind. They pray for us. They speak to us and we to them about spiritual matters. They desire our salvation as we do theirs, and together we seek to be more and more conformed unto Christ. Your truest friend will not be the one you play with but who you pray with.

Jesus is the best friend. He sticks "closer than a brother" (Prov. 18:24). Unless you have a personal friend­ship with Jesus, you'll never escape loneliness. Friend­ship with God is one of the greatest things we as humans can experience (Exod. 33:11; James 2:23; John 15:15).

Reread the ten things above concerning the qualities of a trustworthy friend and, when you do, think of Christ and seek His friendship today.