This is an easy-to-understand Bible study in the “Who can be an elder?” series.

3 pages.

Bible Study 11: Not Violent, but Gentle

11.1 Key themes🔗

  • An elder must not be violent, but gentle. (This is the ninth qualification in 1 Timothy 3:1-7.)
  • Violence is committed with actions, but also with words and thoughts.
  • Jesus Christ is the Prince of Peace and the Good Shepherd.
  • An overseer must follow in the footsteps of the Good Shepherd and be gentle.
  • The way of gentleness is described in Romans 12:21: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
  • These three truths from the Bible will give you the strength to be gentle:
    - God is gentle with you.
    - The Lord is near.
    - Vengeance belongs to the Lord.

11.2 – 1 Timothy 3:3🔗

3. not a drunkard, not violent, but gentle, not contentious, free from the love of money.

© NET Bible

11.3 Romans 12:17-21🔗

17. Do not repay anyone evil for evil; consider what is good before all people.

18. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all people.

19. Do not avenge yourselves, dear friends, but give place to God’s wrath, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.

20. Rather, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in doing this you will be heaping burning coals on his head.

21. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

© NET Bible

11.4 An overseer must not be violent🔗

In this lesson we will look at the second thing that an elder must not be. He must not be violent.

There is a good reason why this qualification comes right after the eighth qualification, “not a drunkard.” Drunkenness and violence often go together. The word “violent” in 1 Timothy 3:3 describes a person who hits others when he gets angry. In Titus 1:7 we find the same word again. This verse also tells us that an overseer should not be “a drunkard or violent.”

From the early days of human history, “the earth was filled with violence” (Genesis 6:11). Violence is found deep within our sinful hearts. We see this even in small children: how they hit, kick, and bite each other when they get angry.

But violence is not only committed with our hands and feet. We also commit violence with our words and thoughts. This is just as evil in God’s eyes.

Jesus warns us, “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgement.’ But I say to you that  everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgement; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire” (Matthew 5:21-22, ESV).

11.5 In the footsteps of the good shepherd🔗

God wants his people to be different from the world. He gave laws to Israel, to punish violence and protect the victims of violence (Exodus 21:12-27). When Jesus came, he said to his disciples, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God” (Matthew 5:9).

Sadly, God’s people are not always different from the world. Israel was a land of blood and violence (Jeremiah 22:17). And James wrote to the Christians of his time, “You desire and you do not have; you murder and envy and you cannot obtain; you quarrel and fight” (James 4:2).

We are all tempted to sin when we get angry. Our anger quickly leads to violent thoughts, words, and actions. But there is one man who never sinned¾not even when he was angry. That man, of course, is Jesus Christ.

Christ is the King of the whole world (Matthew 28:18). But he is also the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6). He is the Good Shepherd. He always uses his power for good, not for evil.

Christ’s command to Peter is a command to every overseer: “Feed my lambs…. Shepherd my sheep…. Feed my sheep” (John 21:15-17). Overseers are called to follow in the footsteps of the Good Shepherd. They must take care of Christ’s sheep with the gentleness and love of Christ (1 Peter 5:1-4).

Therefore, before a man becomes an overseer, the church must know how he treats his wife, his children, and the other people around him. He must not be a violent man¾not at home, not at work, and not anywhere else.

11.6 An overseer must be gentle🔗

There will come times in your life when you will feel hurt and when you will get angry. Especially if you are a Christian leader, you will suffer because of other people’s sins and foolishness. But in those times, you should never respond with violence. At all times the Christian should be “not violent, but gentle” (1 Timothy 3:3).

To be “gentle” means to be kind, patient, and forgiving. When a gentle person is hurt by someone else, he does not ask,

  • “How can I protect myself?” or,
  • “How can I punish the other person?”

No, the gentle person always asks, “How can I do good in this situation?” The way of gentleness is described in Romans 12:21: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

A violent person may look strong. But in reality he is weak. He is “overcome by evil.” Only the gentle person has true strength. He overcomes evil with good!

11.7 Becoming more gentle🔗

How can you and I become more gentle? We will become more gentle when we listen carefully to Jesus Christ, our Great Shepherd. In his Word, the Bible, he teaches and strengthens us to walk in his ways.

Here are three truths from the Bible that will give you the strength to be gentle:

1. God is gentle with you.🔗

God is “slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love” (Psalm 103:8, ESV). If you have been a Christian for a while, you will know that God is very patient and gentle towards you. You sin against him many times a day. But he forgives all your sin. He teaches and helps you, again and again.

If you remember this, you will be patient with the sins and faults of other people. You will be willing to forgive others “seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:22, ESV). Because this is the kind of forgiveness that God gives to you!

2. The Lord is near.🔗

Philippians 4:5 says, “Let everyone see your gentleness. The Lord is near!” When you know that the Lord Jesus is near, you will be able to be gentle.

Jesus is always, always near to you. He sees everything that happens to you. He cares for you deeply. He is with you through his Spirit, to help and strengthen you.

This means that you do not have to fight your own battles. You can be gentle, trusting in Jesus to take care of you. You can also ask him to work in your enemies’ hearts (2 Timothy 2:24-26).

Jesus is near also in another way. He is near because he is coming soon! This brings us to the third important truth.

3. Vengeance belongs to the Lord.🔗

In Romans 12:19 we read, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

It is not your task to punish those who hurt you. That task belongs to God alone. Yes, the Son of God, Jesus Christ, is gentle and patient. But he is also righteous, holy, and powerful. One day, he will come to “crush the oppressor” (Psalm 72:4). He will destroy all his enemies.

So, let us live in fear of God. Let us be gentle towards those who hurt us and let us pray for them (Matthew 5:44). God will finally give us justice, either in this life or on the Day of Judgment.

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