Do you like it when a friend tells you that you are doing the wrong thing? It hurts, doesn’t it? No one likes it when someone tells them that they shouldn’t have said or done something. Yet our verses tell us that a rebuke — a telling off — is good. Actually, as Christians it is our duty to rebuke our friends when we see them doing the wrong thing.

We read of rebuking in the Bible. The prophet Nathan had to rebuke David after he sinned by killing Uriah. We also read of Jesus rebuking his beloved disciples when they argued about who was the greatest. The Lord himself says to the church in Laodicea, “As many as I love, I rebuke” (Rev. 3:19). Because we are all sinful, we all need to be rebuked sometimes.

So how do you react when a friend rebukes you? If your friend tells you that you shouldn’t have told that dirty joke or that you shouldn’t go to that place, how do you respond? Often we want to turn our back on that person and walk away. We don’t like being told off. We prefer to be friends with people who ignore it when we do the wrong thing. But God tells us that these rebukes of a faithful friend are exactly what we need. Yes, they will hurt. Verse 6 even calls them wounds; that’s how much they will hurt. But it is important that we listen to the rebukes and that we then change our ways. The Lord is using those friends to help us serve him better.

But what about when you need to rebuke others? When you need to tell someone that they are acting in an ungodly way, you must do so in love. You can only rebuke someone if you love them and actually want to help them. If you are angry at them or want to get them in trouble, then you are not rebuking in love. So before you rebuke someone, think about why and how you are going to speak to them, and think about what you are going to say, and make sure you rebuke them in love.

Reflection with your child:

How can you be a good friend to others?

Source: Sermon by Rev. C. Vermeulen