Our Families & Internet Pornography
Our Families & Internet Pornography
Internet pornography is not a new topic in the church but it seems that for all the concern that believers express about the problem we are quietly losing the battle. A new study conducted in the US showed that among evangelical young men at evangelical universities, 25% admitted to viewing this material every week and more than 60% said they viewed it on a monthly basis.1 The same study showed a strong link between the age at which this destructive material was first viewed with the amount viewed and the number of illicit partners the person had in university: the younger the exposure, the more it would be viewed and the larger the number of illicit partners the person would be likely to engage with.
The young men surveyed reported feeling guilty but they also reported great frustration with the lack of help and teaching from the church and their universities on this issue. They knew it was 'wrong' but they did not receive any ongoing instruction about the dangers and long-term impact of internet pornography. Nor did these young men feel there was anyone to turn to for help. Is it possible that these young men are not receiving teaching and help because their leaders – fathers, Elders and Pastors are struggling with the same problem? Many surveys2 have shown that more than 50% of Christian men admit to regularly viewing pornography online and anywhere from 20% to 50% of Christian leaders report the same struggle.
The damage done has become so widely recognized that even the UK government is now discussing a UK wide block of Internet pornography.3 However, this is not a problem that will be solved by a government intervention, no matter how sweeping. It is a problem that must be addressed by each family and each church on a continuing basis.
Train the Heart⤒🔗
Proverbs has an abundance of teaching on the "forbidden woman" or "the adulterous woman". Young men were warned that she was to be found on any street corner, that she was enticing and that to yield to her was to embrace shame, poverty and death. The New Testament is even more explicit in 1 Cor 6:9-11, warning that no one who is sexually immoral will inherit the kingdom of God. The clear teaching from verse 11 is that we must be "washed" from such practices, rather than accepting them as a weakness: they are a symptom of spiritual death. Ultimately, it is a matter of worship. Either we worship God with our whole body or we serve an idol, an idol that gives pleasure but makes us slaves and destroys our families.
Recognize the Danger←⤒🔗
Use of Internet Pornography leads to increased levels of illicit sexual activity, increased numbers of sexual predators, higher levels of child exploitation as well as an increased divorce rate. There is nothing remotely good that comes from the use of destructive material; even secret 'occasional' use can have devastating impacts on one's personal, family as well as professional life. Pornography that involves the exploitation of children is increasingly common and the 'accidental' use of such can lead to arrest, prison as well as lifetime bans from working with children. It is critical that we have an on-going conversation with our children about these issues and prepare them for a lifetime battle.
Repent←⤒🔗
If we or anyone in our family has been snared by Internet pornography we need to repent and seek help. We have a loving heavenly Father who knows all that we have ever done or thought. Jesus has paid for every sin and will cover us with his blood. We need to bring our sin to light and do whatever is needed to kill its influence in our lives. Jesus taught that we must be ruthless with ourselves when it comes to the influence of sin. If we are to cut off a hand or a foot if it causes us to sin, how much more should we consider removing the Internet from our home, changing work situations or even friends if any of them causes us to remain in the power of sin? It is a matter of eternal life and death.
Protect←⤒🔗
Putting in place Internet filters and accountability systems for our home, work and phones can be a helpful safeguard for us and our families. However, if someone is actively seeking to access pornographic material, the safeguards are easily circumvented. I have therefore made this my last point, as protection from Internet pornography is only effective when preceded by training, recognising the danger and repenting.
- Place computers in public locations in your home so no one is using the Internet privately.
- Set time limits on Internet usage. The higher the number of hours someone uses the Internet the higher the likelihood they will engage with Internet based pornography.4
- Husbands and wives should freely look at the content of their spouse's phones and computers. All phones and computers that are in the hands of children and teens should be freely inspected by parents at any time.
- Set up Open DNS5 on your home or business network. It will provide free pornography filtering for all the computers on your network.
- Where there is a need for strict accountability across all uses of a computer Facebook, email, chat, YouTube, web, etc. Spector Pro6 is a paid product that allows you to monitor everything done on the computer and it will issue reports on usage. This is especially useful where someone is seeking to recover from a problem with their Internet usage.
I would encourage every family and individual to set up basic filtering. If anyone needs assistance I would be very happy to help with the setup.
While temptation has always been present, never has it been so universally accessible, literally in our pocket. It is a lifetime guerilla war with a ruthless enemy for which we need to prepare the next generation. May the Lord grant us grace and vigilance.
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