Gossip
Gossip
Several years ago I came across this story about Socrates, who in ancient Greece was a man who was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. It will serve well to introduce this article.
“One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, ‘Socrates. Do you know what I just heard about your friend?’”
“Hold on a minute,” Socrates replied. “Before telling me anything, I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the ‘Triple Filter Test.’”
“Triple Filter?”
“That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. The first filter is ‘Truth.’ Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”
“No,” the man said, “actually, I just heard about it and…”
“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now, let’s try the second filter, the filter of ‘Goodness.’ Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”
“No, on the contrary…”
“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left: the filter of ‘Usefulness.’ Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”
“No, not really.”
“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?”
The acquaintance was silent.
There is no historical record that Socrates was a believer. In fact all of the evidence points to the fact that he was an intellectual pagan. And yet this story probably puts many of us believers to shame for we are often all too easily guilty of the sin of gossip. We speak words about others that are either not rooted in fact, neither are they ‘good’ words nor are they useful (that is, they do not build up but rather they tear down).
For as long as there has been a fallen tongue there has been the sin of gossip. In fact it was such a prevalent problem in the early church that almost every New Testament epistle addresses this problem in some form. As we will see in our ongoing exposition of the epistle of James, the tongue is a small but potentially potent and destructive member. We must guard against gossip.
But just what is meant by ‘gossip?’ I like theologian and counsellor Jay Adam’s definition, “Gossip is unnecessary talk.” That, in my opinion, sums up the essence of gossip very succinctly. Think with me through the issue. According to this definition we are guilty of gossip when we speak in ways that are unedifying, when we speak words about others that cast them in a bad light; when we speak to issues concerning another which are really none of our business. This may not be an exhaustive definition but it at least gives us a good starting point.
Suffice to say that we are guilty of gossip when we speak about others in ways that are unedifying, unnecessary, or unhelpful.
We should also note that gossip is not merely concerned with the truthfulness of the words being bandied about. The fact of the matter is that your words may be factual and yet sinful at the same time. When it comes to understanding the concept of gossip we must note that the issue is not merely truthfulness but rather also that of appropriateness. In other words, we need to ask ourselves the question, “Are these words really necessary?” and if they aren’t, then either suppress the desire to speak them or rebuke the one saying them. Yes, rebuke them. Pour ‘holy water’ on the potential forest fire of incendiary words (see James 3:5, 6).
Solomon wrote,
The north wind brings forth rain, and a backbiting tongue an angry countenance. Proverbs 25:23
That is, just as surely as the rains attend the north winds so one who backbites should expect an angry response. I believe that Solomon means that when the godly hear slanderous gossip that they will respond with an angry look. That is, they will rebuke the backbiter. Perhaps I could put it this way, when the believer hears gossip he/she will issue forth a sanctified “Shut your mouth!”
Dear people, gossip is potentially destructive and thus we must take serious steps to be done with it. Unnecessary words all too often result in slander and malice and the fallout can be devastating. Let me illustrate this with a story that I have told publicly on other occasions.
A certain pastor made an enemy in his community because of his stand for the truth. This enraged ‘parishioner’ went on the verbal warpath and began a fabricated rumour that this pastor had committed an immoral act. The story spread like wildfire and soon he was, ignominiously, the talk of the town. His ministry was finished. Several months later the evil gossiper repented and came and asked the pastor’s forgiveness which of course he immediately granted. But after their lengthy discussion he asked the individual to accompany him on the veranda of his fourth story flat. The pastor then took a down pillow and proceeded to slice it open with a knife and then he proceeded to scatter the pillow’s feathers into the wind. The pastor then said to the repentant gossip, “Please go and gather all of those feathers.” The individual looked at him incredulously and said that there was no way that he could find every one of those feathers. The pastor of course concurred. But then the pastor made his point as he said, “Just as you could not possibly recover every one of those feathers neither will I be able to completely recover my reputation. Your gossip has spread so far, that like those feathers, even with all of your best effort you will be unable to gather up and contain all of the stories floating about regarding my supposed sin.” Sure, the man guilty of gossip was repentant and forgiven, but much irreversible damage had already been done.
Beloved, let us think before we speak. Socrates’ ‘Triple Filter Test’ is helpful advice but even better wisdom comes from Paul, who under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit wrote, ‘Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how to answer each one’ (Colossians 4:6). May our words to one another this year be increasingly those which edify, those which are motivated by charity and guarded by wisdom.
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